The summer Olympics are drawing to a close, and they've been marvelous. I loved the new sports added - Climbing, Surfing and Skateboarding. All of them were really fun to watch, challenging for the competitors, and I think were good additions to the pre-existing slate of sporting events. I was even able to catch the finals of Rhythmic Gymnastics All-Around this morning - the Gold being won by Israel. It was a pleasure to see the Israeli flag and hear the anthem again; it's been quite a while since I last heard it.
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It was really nice to see the Israeli flag in primary position and hear the anthem of Israel playing for the Gold Medal winner of Rhythmic Gymnastics All-Around. It was a hotly contested event and the young woman from the ROC came in second, after having her own gold last Olympics. |
I had hopes for our dinner last night. DH agreed on tacos for dinner, and I thought that would be easy to make in two batches, one for him and one for me. But when he came home from work and realized I was making two separate batches so that I could have my taco seasoning and he could have his, the shit hit the fan. Apparently I'm being selfish by not using the standard taco seasoning. I'm doubling up on everything and that's driving his crazy. The fact that I'm healthy and that my doctor is thrilled with my weight and bloodwork apparently means nothing to him. He considers WildFit a diet, where I consider it a lifestyle choice that I'm not turning my back on. He stormed off, and I ate alone and seasoned all of the beef with my own seasoning (Siete Taco Seasoning and their Taco Shells - really good!). I have enough for another meal tonight, and maybe Monday too.
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I love Siete products. Their taco shells were really tasty and I liked the taco seasoning too. I used the "Hot" taco seasoning which was really pretty mild. I'll use the mild next time and see what I think. |
I think I've got my back against the wall. I'm just not seeing any way out of this. I know he won't go to counseling, and I also know I can't live in a toxic environment. I foresee a lot of changes in the air, but I think the best thing would be a separation. I'm going to check out a couple of other things, and I still have a small bit of hope, but frankly, I can't live with someone who'e angry all the time. He's not physically abusive, but he is emotionally abusive and although I have deep roots and I'm strong, I'm thinking I could thrive if I wasn't under his shade. Time to get my ducks in a row and be ready for some serious changes.
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I look at other couples who complement each other, and support each other and I'm envious. That's what I always thought marriage could and should be. I'm not getting that - I haven't for a long time. I've cried out for support, and I keep getting pushed aside for his own wants and his own needs. I don't think I can bend any more without breaking. |
On that note, it's Saturday which is always good, and it's thundering outside, so maybe we'll get some much-needed rain today. That would be a very positive thing indeed. Have a wonderful weekend, all. I'll be back on Monday.
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