Hunting for Muses and Motivation

Today I have to take some time and write - actually write. I have a story due in less than two weeks with a good beginning, but I need to add a lot to it and it's got a deadline I cannot miss. It seems odd to be writing again. In the last nine months of 2015, I only wrote a single story - a 100 word drabble. This, from a person who spewed words out like raindrops in the tropics in prior years. But I wasn't 'inspired' or 'motivated' or any other number of things and excuses.

My muses always manage to find really good caves in which to hide. 

In cases where motivation lies dormant and the muses have found a cave and retreated from view, it can be difficult to rediscover and revive them. In the past, I hunted for them. I grabbed my mental flashlight and went searching in the dark corners of my mind. Sometimes I found them, whipped the motivation back up to a standing position and pulled the muses back into the sunlight. But that didn't work in 2015.

In my case, motivation rarely seeks me out. Instead, I have to
find it and lead it back to my home port. 

Last year my motivation refused to rise, despite tender loving care and feeding. Last year my muses triple-locked the gates blocking their cave and refused to listen to my pleading words. Last year, in other words, was a bust. The fact that I was even able to pull out a drabble in the latter part of the year was a bit miraculous.

It's time to round up my muses and my motivation. It's time to
sit at the keyboard for something other than tax forms and blogs.
It's time to WRITE! 

But this year I'm armed. I'm taking my flame thrower to burn down the door to my motivation's hide-out. I'll feed it and drag it out into the sunlight. This year I'm taking my metal cutters to cut through the chains, and a torch to melt the locks blocking the entrance to the cave where my muses have secreted themselves. I'll find them and bring them back to a sunlit glade. They'll be kicking and screaming, and I'll probably be bruised, but the clock is ticking and I have people counting on me. Here's hoping you have a great and productive Thursday. I certainly plan to :-)

At Loose Ends...Searching for my Muse

I'm at loose ends today. I'm supposed to write but my muse is in hiding. She'll come back soon, but right now I need to find her. Maybe she is hiding under a rock on a beachfront scattered with 1000's of rocks. Which one can she be secreting herself under? Shall I take a look and see if I can't pin her down, bring her back into the sunshine, and allow her to sing once more?

Maybe my muse is hiding under one of the rocks
scattered on this beach in the Pacific Northwest? 

No? Well then - where is that muse of mine hiding today? Maybe in the desert?

Oh my! I could spend the rest of my life checking under these
rocks. This is a desert in southern Yemen. Has my muse moved
so far away from home? 

If she is not hiding in the desert or on the beach, perhaps she is hiding in or near rushing waters?

Lots of wonderful rocks here. Where's my fishing pole? This scene
is just calling out for some fly fishing. But no muse is
answering my call here either. 

Where can my muse be hiding? I've looked at the beach, the desert and the river - where else can I possibly look? Oh yes! Maybe she is hiding in the largest rocks of them all - the mountains.

This is one of the scenes from where I grew up. The Rocky Mountains
rise abruptly from the Great Plains of the central US and create a formidable
barrier between the coasts. This is outside of Denver, Colorado. It is
scenes like this that make me homesick, so maybe my muse just
wanted to return home for a while without me. 

But I really need to settle down to some work - some serious work, not just photo blogs and birthday wishes. Today? Maybe. But if not, then tomorrow. My thoughts are filled with thoughts of Bead & Button Show, museum tours, an upcoming visit by an internet friend, and general hoopla. I just can't seem to concentrate on writing. Feh! Maybe if I put out milk and cookies my muse will come back to me? In the meantime, it's time to get back to work...

Now...which buttons do I want to push today? 

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Progress - Little Baby Steps

I've been chasing my muses around rooms, down hallways, and up and down stairs. My whip has been flying and the muses have been scampering. But when they stand still, they are totally adorable, and yesterday they finally decided to stand still for a while. So I actually got some work done on the two shorter fics I'm working on right now. I want to get these complete to allow myself to move back to my novel, but I refuse to let something other than the best that I can do at any time out into the public arena. Yesterday's writing times were productive.

As I said yesterday, I like jumping from one story to another. When I hit a wall with one plot, I like to shift to another. I utilized that a lot yesterday, switching from A to B to A to B again. I've been revising and revising as I go, changing storylines and points of view, and by the time I got around to dinner last night, I was pretty happy with what I had accomplished during the day and the direction that I was heading. Today I'm back into the normal groove and even though I'll be at the shop, I'll at least get my 1-2 hours of writing before opening in the morning and another bit during the day. It might make up for the total lack of sleep that I got last night.

I know I don't sleep a lot, but last night was ridiculous. I really do need more than 4-1/2 hours, but that's all I got. I woke up at 2:30 am and even though I tried, I couldn't fall back asleep. So I'll be dragging today. Ooof!

Searching for my Muse - The Exercise of Writing

I usually don't have to search too hard for my muse. Much of the time she is spending time sharing tea with my dust bunnies hiding underneath the headboard or box spring, sometimes she is participating in badminton games held across the heating vents, or she is scampering up the climbing wall that used to be called my dryer vent tubing. But over the past few days she's been hiding in better or more well-researched locations and has been eluding me. This has frustrated me because I have a LOTR Community story to write that's about half-way through, and I just picked up another challenge, bringing out an OC character of mine that is near and dear to my heart. I need her assistance.

There are a variety of reasons why my muse may have taken flight, primary among them is my DH's desire to write his own story. Because he wants to bring one of his own alter-ego characters and my own alter-ego into it, he wants all kinds of input from me. In many ways it seems to me that he wants me to write the story for him - something that I refuse to do.

I work hard at my writing skills, trying to improve with each final story I release. I can look back over my history of posted pieces starting in March 2011, and I'm pleased with the progress I've made since then. I'm serious about plot, character, and the movement of story from one scene to another. I am tenacious about revising and revising and revising yet again to get the perfect blend of words and activity, and I still fail to catch everything I would want to change. But I am aware of what I want to do and I work for it, the goal stands forth boldly and, with luck, I hit the ball into it.

My DH is not a serious writer and, I feel, wants to write only to have a bit of common ground with me. I am not telling him not to write, on the contrary, I would love for him to do so. My issues come with his insistence on talking about things ad infinitum but never placing words upon page or screen. I believe in action - "Don't talk about it, just do it." So, while he talks, I am planning my conveyance to entrap my muse for yet another plot, character, or device, and I continue plodding along, happily creating my own vision of literary exercise.

Homunculus...

My muse seems to have gone on a temporary vacation. I feel her floating around the edges of my life, but I'm too involved in reading right now to open her door. She'll have her opportunity in another 48 hours or so - just one more book to go and then I can allow my life to return to "normal" (which is, of course, a very relative term when applied to my life). So, since my brain is on vacation, it decided to visit the strange today. Today's discussion - the creation of a homunculus.

 Two marvelous oil paintings by Fred Einaudi - The Homunculus and The Specimen

One of the characters in the latest book I am reading is a homunculus - a miniature human being created artificially using the bodily humors of a host mixed with chemicals, spells and formulas. I was vaguely familiar with the term, but wanted more information on it, so looked it up this morning. I found it pretty interesting, so I'm sharing with you today. The creation of a homunculus does seem to be highly associated with alchemy, and in the book I am reading it also is the creation of an alchemist. But there were many different recipe possibilities throughout human history, as well as many different uses to which they would be put - everything from guard to basic caretaker and housekeeper.

One ingredient agreed upon by most of the recipes was sperm. At one point in history, each sperm was thought to be a fully formed individual in extreme miniature that would be deposited in the womb and be nurtured there until birth. Supposedly any characteristics of the mother were imbued during this nine-month period. There have also been speculations of homunculi inside our heads. But some of the more interesting things were the recipes presented to make a homunculus of your own. Are you interested in a little helper of your very own? Check out the Wiki on it and start planning for the next full or new moon.

Progress

I'm really hoping that today will be so busy at the shop that I won't have any chance of writing, but yesterday we had a couple of slow hours and I had a chance to work on Chapter 1.2 of Helyanwe's story. That chapter finally got finished last night. It's too long, I'll have to post it to my writers board in two segments but I want to be ahead of my crit friends anyway. So I will repost my revised Chapter 1.1 to them today, having finally determined that first person POV is the direction I want to go, and then next week sometime I can start posting Chapter 1.2 for crit.

 Why am I writing this crazy story? It isn't anything that I can publish outside of the world of fanfic, and it is taking an extraordinary amount of my time and effort. Well, because this character, Helyanwe, has been knocking at my door since I began writing in March and she is insisting that I tell her story. So, after several months of fighting it, I have given in and am writing it. That's all I needed...one more thing to do - LOL. Oh well, anything for my muse.

Baby Steps

So, I spoke with my Guru yesterday and managed to get one more step towards a functional computer last night.  I managed, with his instructions in hand, to get the error code isolated.  Then I went on to the Microsoft data base to find out what the error code was telling me to do.  The fix will force me to do some cleanup and rebuilding of XP, but I think I can do it without too much difficulty.  I will double-check the directions during the day today and talk with my Guru about it, and if we are both comfortable with it, I'll try that tonight if I'm not too tired.  I would possibly have done it last night, but I was too exhausted, and tired brains make mistakes.  I can't afford to make mistakes here. 

But I'm generally in a better mood today.  I heard from so many friends yesterday (thanks to all of you) and who can stay depressed when they have great friends like that?  In any case, I'm neck deep into reading my Nook, and in contemplating my four latest projects - figuring out the timeframes for them.  My art can always drag me back from the gutter into what I love - color, light, and pattern.  I'm always happy when I'm creating something, even if it is a frustrating project.  The act of creating something makes my hands and my brain joyful.  I am SO Noldo! 

Fall Has Arrived

I hope that all of you had a great equinox.  In my area of the world, Autumn has now arrived.  That means I'll soon be seeing snow and shoveling again, and that comes under the heading of NOT my favorite thing to do.  But, it is at least some exercise - LOL.  I do love autumn - the fantastic colors that we get up here are magnificant.  We usually peak around the 11th of October, so the next two weeks should be ever increasing splashes of crimson and gold.  This is the time of the year that I love driving out to the Renaissance Festival - the drive out there goes through some of the prettiest countryside and I love seeing it change through the colors.  It will also be time to avoid the acorns.  The many oak trees that we have out there will be beaning people on the head and I usually get at least one bouncing off mine as well. 

The colors of autumn.  Can you build them
into your latest piece of artwork? 

Congratulations to my Minnesota Twins for winning the Central Division.  The Twins were the first baseball team this year to clinch their division.  Now we can look forward to the playoffs.  This area is sports crazy, and I'm fine with that.  But the publicity keeps being heavily for our football team - the Minnesota Vikings.  I've followed the Vikings for more than 30 years from the sidelines, since I'm a Denver Broncos fan.  The Vikings tease, but never pay off.  All of that fire and flash, and they have never come through to win the big one.  The Minnesota Twins, on the other hand, have won the world series three times - once in the 60's, and twice since I've lived up here.  They keep coming through for their fans in a quiet, understated, and classy way.  Go Twins! 

This is an older logo, but so appropriate!

And my cousin Emailed me last night.  My neice, who I met as a baby and again as a young child of maybe 12 or so, is getting married next year.  I've been invited to the wedding (as has my DH).  I'm not sure if I can afford this, but I'll really try.  Money is getting extremely tight, but I'll keep saving in my cash jar and hopefully things will pan out.  I would really love to be there for my cousin and her husband and to see my neice once again. 

Indecisions in California

So same sex marriages are no longer allowed to be celebrated in California until appeals have run their course.  I know that many people reading this blog may not approve of same sex marriage, but I believe in love, companionship, and, if desired, marriage.  Many same sex couples are as devoted, perhaps oftem more devoted, to each other than opposite sex couples.  I see no reason why they cannot be married in the eyes of the law.  As for the eyes of whatever religion they belong to...that is up to the particular religion.  I probably won't expect to attend a same sex marriage in my local Catholic church anytime soon, though.  The thought is that the appeals will run their course, eventually ending up at the US Supreme Court.  This could be very good...but has an equal chance of being very bad for same sex couples.  I know my friends who have married their partners are extremely happy, and I think that's great!  If you feel a need to never read this newsletter again because of my views on same sex marriage, help yourself.  But I have always felt that homosexuality is just fine, even though it is not my personal preference in my own life. 

Happiness is what is important
and Love should be legally allowed

Happy, after all, is the key, isn't it?  Although lots of poetry and novels are composed under the circumstances of depression, starvation, and sorrow, I have always found it difficult to be particularly creative when I'm wondering where my next meal may come from or how to pay the bills that are stacking up.  For my personal creativity, happiness allows me to have bright colors, interlocking elements, and uplifting themes.  When I am depressed, although I often will bury myself in my art to try and work out of my depression, my artwork generally isn't as good.  The clarity, focus, and general thematics of my own work suffers when I am suffering.  So I try to stay happy.  That's as good a reason as any to be happy :-)

Inspiration and Planning

Where do you get your artistic inspiration?  Do you take a walk and look at the natural world around you?  Do you listen to music and see visions of pattern or color in the tones, or themes in the lyrics?  Do you envision scenes as you read a story, novel or poem?  Or is it a little bit of everything all wrapped up in one?  Although I use nature and the wonders of the world for my artwork, the actual imagery that I draw or enamel or create in other media is usually influenced by the written word.  When I read, whether it be a published novel, some Egyptian hieroglyphics, or a well-crafted fan-fic, I see the text acted out in my mind.  If the pictures thus generated develop great clarity, I can put those images down on paper, in paint, or in molten glass.  Good texts and imagery allow me to have a long mental list of projects, and that doesn't even count the occasional "brain storm" images that come out of left field and demand to be part of the group. 

Once you have an image, how do you decide the best method to bring the image to life?  My media is often dictated by time, material considerations, and the desire that I may have to work in one media or another.  I love to draw (thus my adoration for sketchbooks and pencils - once again thanks to my Beady Buddy for the B-day gift), I also love to paint (still working on skills with watercolors, though), and I can bead almost anything and be successful with it (40+ years of practice pays off).  But I love enamel and I can't wait for my latest beading project to end so that I can go back to my enamel work.  And I think that working with glass and metal is where I want to focus for a while.  Beading is a constant in my life, but the large projects with seed beads that I used to spend all of my free time with are not my focus any more.  Am I growing up?  Or maybe I'm indulging myself?  But I hope to hone new skills as I enter the last few decades of my life and I hope through practicing those new skills, I will have new happiness.  So I will continue to look at each sunrise and sunset with gratitude and a painter's eye, the branches of the trees with patterns speaking to me, and listening to the voice of the trees, birds and wind for their guidance. 

Happy Weekend

It is Saturday.  For most people that is the start of their weekend.  They will sleep in this morning, wake when they cats walk over them or their dogs ask to be let out.  Or maybe their children will turn on the TV in the other room and the volume will wake you up.  You'll have your morning coffee, think about what tasks you have mentally scheduled for the two days, and get dressed.  The chores of the weekend may include planting your garden, mowing your lawn, volunteering at a charity or soup kitchen, going to a concert, going on a bicycle ride...what about art?  Does art or craft play a part in your weekend plans?  Are you going to paint?  Do a mosaic?  Melt some glass?  Throw a pot?  Compose some music?  What are you planning to do that will help your creative side?  Here's an idea for you - build craft or art into your weekend plans.  Make sure that you indulge yourself by allowing your creative side to have some expression; not just throwing basketball with the kids, but thinking about those arcs that the ball makes and putting them onto your paper or computer screen later.  Set your kids down to practice their music and sit down with your own instrument, keyboard, or voice and work on a new composision.  Open the tempra paints for the kids and take the last easel for yourself - see who can express their views of summer better or in a specific time frame.  Then get the sprinkler out and run through the sprinkler - it will help get any paint overindulgence washed off.  Play this weekend. 

I'll be working today, but I'm already looking forward to my pasta for dinner and a relaxed evening and Sunday.  I haven't put the resist down on my silk yet because I've been too tired after a day at the shop to sit down.  I hope to get that done on Sunday.  Then I could paint the center tree on Sunday, set the paint on Monday and wash the resist out of the silk.  Then I could put the new resist onto the fabric on Tuesday and do the next painting on Wednesday.  It will be pushing things to stick to that schedule, but it would get me a bit closer to schedule.  So we'll see if I can get Step 1 done tomorrow.  Have a creative weekend. 

Watershed

This will be a week of events and changes. My DH goes to see his Doctor for a surgery follow-up today. There are a lot of things that aren't going as well as he had thought, although he is not known as a patient man. I think things will improve over time and that it has been barely more than a week since the surgery. I guess I have a longer-term aspect to my thoughts :-) I also am the featured member of the month for the Upper Midwest Bead Society's newsletter and I am being incredibly honored by being chosen as the artist of the month for the Metalclay yahoogroup (which necessitates my coming up with a biography and a personal website ). I'm still rather amazed that I was asked to allow this - I work in metal clay, I enjoy it as a media. But I'm such an across-the-board jeweler and artist. Maybe my cross-venue art can help to inspire someone else though, and then it will be well worth the exposure.

I've been waiting for word from Lark Books about two different submissions that I have pending. I'm at the point of crossing my fingers because I should hear by the end of the month. I may have to break down and actually contact them directly - something that I usually would never do. I am fully aware that I may not get positive responses from them, but sometimes the rejections can be as good a learning experience as the acceptances.

As we enter Autumn, take a look around you with eyes open. Enjoy the fall colors - the warmth of topaz, the sun inside olivine and the scarlet reds of sumac and the setting sun. These are the colors that will allow us to live through the color-drained season of winter which is still to come. Live happily today and share smiles - they cost you nothing and enrich everyone.

Looking for Inspiration

So, I have these wonderful beads sitting in front of me. They are the beads that were just released for the 2010 Beading For A Cure charity/challenge project. I have a couple of ideas perched in the back of my head, and I have the enamel colors to make accompanying pieces. I have the copper cut and ready to shape, and I'm ready to go.....except....LIFE IS GETTING IN MY WAY. Instead of being able to spend today shaping copper and trying out colors on small copper bits, I have to spend today cleaning my workspace and going to an appointment across town to discuss this IRS stuff (mentioned in yesterday's blog) with someone who may be able to translate IRS-talk into common speak. How I wish for "clarity and transparency" in legalese-speak. But it's like any other industry - it creates terminology to define it's concepts, and then the invented terminology takes on its' own life and existence. Rather like self-perpetuated hell.

So do artists have their own invented and self-perpetuating terminology? Of course we do. For example, we borrow terms from other fields (hues and values), and we create our own terms and/or definitions (pigments and fold-forming). Over time and with the addition of more technology, our dictionary of specialized terms increases, until it is an entirely new language. Through the morass of moving alphabetic terms, the artist defines the tools of his/her trade.

One item can be defined many ways. Looking at a flower may inspire many things - a poem, a story, a painting, a song, a dance, or in my case, a piece of copper with melted glass or an item made from small, pierced, pieces of glass woven into a patterned sequence. So, among my assigned tasks today is to take some time to find some inspiration while I'm out and about. The weather should be excellent for February, so I'll take a couple of hours for myself and celebrate the Creator and my personal muse, thanking them for my incredible luck and their amazing love. I challenge you to take a bit of time and find your own inspiration. Then work through the terms of your art to bring this inspiration into a new, artistic creation. What terms (methodologies) will you use? Maybe you will invent our next addition to the Artist's Dictionary.

Good Times...Bad Times...Just Times

It's a hard time to be a small business. It's a great time to be an artist. These two things are the polar opposite parts of my psyche. I operate a business at which I sell crafts supplies to creative people. I love the job, but it's not where my heart is and it's having some very hard times right now, along with the rest of the sinking US economy.

But it's a great time to be an artist. Why? Because I can take the negative things happening in my daily life and push through those negative feelings to make a positive outcome. To turn the negative into positive is a way that I can deal with stress. So, yesterday morning I counter-punched and drilled hundreds of blanks for my enamel work. My stress about lack of daily dollars coming into my store was balanced by the fact that I had accomplished the next step for my next enamel series. And while doing inventory, I was also able to contemplate what imagery I want in that next series.

A friend blogged about daily affirmations and positive thinking. I am a very positive thinker, but I am also very pragmatic - honest in my vision without wearing rose colored glasses. I have faith that I will always land on my feet - that I will be protected and that whatever happens in my life is according to the Will. Is it truly? Why not? Who am I to argue with powers so far beyond my understanding that I am a mote of dust in their eye? All I know is when I follow my heart and allow my creative side to express itself, I am happy, I can function and I believe that I will find my audience and make my mark in my own way.

May you have positive thoughts today, and work with the knowledge that whatever you do is important in the eyes of the Creative Force. Celebrate your Muse.

Sleep Deprivation

When I was a college student I suffered from insomnia. I went to counseling, took drugs, etc. It was a serious problem. I learned the various techniques that had to be used to be successful. Techniques such as only going to bed when you were ready to go to sleep. Giving it 20 minutes and then getting up for 1/2 hour before trying again. Using the bed only for sleep, not reading or other activities. Yadda, yadda, yadda, etc. Last night, nothing was working. I fell asleep numerous times while watching TV between 8pm and 10pm, but when I turned off the light at 10pm ready to go to sleep for real - I couldn't. I tried until 10:45, then got up and read until midnight. Finally I had success at midnight. Why would this matter? For most of you it probably wouldn't make any real difference to your day. For me, however, since I get up at 3:30 am - not falling asleep until midnight meant that I only got 3-1/2 hours of sleeep. I'm a wreck.

On a positive note, being exceptionally tired like this might mean that I will be more open to the ideas and desires that the Creator and/or my Muse may want to place in my way. My internal dialog will be less able to place barriers between their music and my own all-too grounded brain. So some good creativity may come of this. May you be open to the inspirations of your own Muse today.