Father's Day Weekend is Here

This weekend is Father's Day and even though my own father has been dead for more than 20 years, I have to post and honor the day because all of us have fathers. Now ... some of my readers have or had fabulous fathers. You know the kind - supportive, helping you explore the variety of life choices ahead of his kids, creating a safe and loving place to return to each day after school, and being generous with his sense of humor and support of his kids. That's the kind of father we all wish we had and some of us were actually lucky enough to have a father like this.

Happy Father's Day to all of you. 

But there are other kinds of fathers out there that don't quite fit into this definition. These are the fathers who might almost be better called 'sperm donors' instead of fathers. These are the fathers who are violent towards their families, who drink away their paychecks or spend them on drugs, who don't attend the performances or sporting events of their kids, and who only move through their lives from one day to another, dragging down everyone they touch along with them.

What kind of father did you have? I was very fortunate. I had a father who met the first description. My friends and other family members also had fathers who mostly fit the first description. But many kids out there don't have that good fortune.

To find a large list of organizations helping homeless
LGBT kids, just follow this link. 

It is a fact that 65% of the kids living on the streets these days are LGBT kids who have been kicked out of their homes because of their sexual orientation. Sixty-five percent! That's a HUGE number of kids who thought they had a safe place to return to after school and who found the doors locked against them or their very lives threatened by those who should have loved and supported them throughout their lives.

AJ and Alex are two homeless LGBT youths living on the streets of
LA. For their story follow this link. 

When a child is born, a road of infinite possibilities open up ahead of her. Parents hold the baby and are amazed and awed that they have the responsibility for this small life - that they will raise a bright and vibrant child who will grow up happy, healthy and fulfilled. That's a great goal. These new parents don't look at their baby and see a drug abuser, a thief, a murderer, or a bully. But these are also possibilities.

What does the future hold for this child?

So celebrate Father's Day and be thankful if your father was supportive and loving. It's exactly what a father should be and you were lucky and cherished. And reach out to those who are less fortunate than you were. Support some of the shelters which exist for LGBT teens who have no other place to turn. Turn your fond memories into action to help others. Here are some resources for you to check out...

The Point Foundation empowers LGBT students to continue their education through grants and scholarships.

Live Out Loud connects LGBT students with LGBT adults in their community, providing positive role models and connections.

New Alternatives provides safe shelter for LGBT youths in New York City.

Although these are East Coast focused (except for the Point Foundation), I'm sure that your specific area also has shelters and programs designed for homeless kids, most of whom are LGBT and I've listed other resources and links in the photo captions above. If you want to help kids, working with your local LGBT programs is a really good way for you to celebrate the loving father and supporting life you were lucky enough to have. If your home wasn't as happy, or you overcame great difficulties to become the fantastic person you are today, reach out to help others overcome their damaging circumstances. Have a happy Saturday and a great Father's Day.

A Wow Factor

What have you done or seen lately that caused you to stop and think "Wow!"? While watching a variety of TV shows lately, it seems like people were waiting for that "Wow!" to hit and it started me thinking (always a dangerous thing) about what I have done lately in my own life that would be "Wow!". Have I left my mark on this world? How will I be remembered?

I have blog posts - lots and lots of them, consistently, six days each week for years. That, as a work, could be a window into the psyche of an aging hippie if nothing else. I have a collection of works in progress - crafting, artwork and my original fiction pieces, but that's all in-progress. I have a wonderful house, husband, and a bunch of possessions (which are a little over-the-top right now until we get the latest "crap" put away), but they are just possessions.

Various earth works by Andy Goldsworthy.

I want to be able to look back at what I've produced and be happy with the mark I've left. I want to be able to write, paint, and work with my other art medias to allow my inner visions to finally be expressed. I have so many things in-works, and so little time to deal with them. I look around at my art books and I want to make things that make people's breath catch, just like mine does whenever I look at the art of Andy Goldsworthy or Vincent Van Gogh.  I want to write something that will hit the heart and emotions like TJ Klune or Marion Zimmer Bradley. I want to impact the world in a creative way, not just ring a cash register.

Like many of you, I had a poster of this on the wall of my dorm when I
was a college student. There's just something about this piece from Van Gogh. 

Don't get me wrong. I've helped hundreds of people with their personal quests to learn artforms, choose colors, and decide on projects. I've encouraged creativity in the shy, praised the efforts of the beginners as well as the experienced, and generally have tried to make a positive impact. But a positive impact isn't a "Wow!" factor. It's important - no doubt, but it's not a "Wow!".

So am I totally off-mark to want to leave an impact or at least something behind me that will be remembered after my death? What about you? What is your legacy for the future?

Past Lessons, Future Impact

So the whole issue with my father-by-marriage's estate settlement has pushed some things to the forefront for my DH and me. Primarily, the fact that we don't have a will. DH quite specifically has said that he refuses to travel with me after retirement if we don't have a will in place, and seeing what he is going through for the estate and all of the miscellaneous work he is doing, I fully understand his point. So we need to get wills set up - soon - to remove one more weight from him.

I love this old-style hearse - so classic and beautiful and with Percheron horses!

The auction for my father-by-marriage's went live last night and will extend through next week. The man organizing it wants the "open house" inspection scheduled for Wednesday in the late afternoon. I can do that if necessary, but I'm hoping he can switch it to Tuesday or Thursday instead. I know DH would rather be the person who is there in case questions arise about any of the items. Item pick-up is scheduled for the Tuesday afterward (the 17th), so DH can be available for that one. Some of the items will need to be disassembled, others will need several people to help carry them up or down the stairs, so physical ability will be important.

The old-style funeral procession required some very strong people to carry
the coffins to the cemetery. This one looked like a really long walk.

It's so strange to be younger than 60, looking around at my list of friends and acquaintances and already seeing empty spaces in their ranks. Of course, like most people, I had friends who died while I was a teenager, so it's not a new process, but I don't think it ever gets easier. The normal thing that most people do in their wills is to leave their items and estate to their children. But DH and I don't have any children and that leaves us open to allocate our assets to those places where we feel it will do the best good. Our monies will be going towards scholarships and university departments, towards helping shelter animals, and to expanding public radio and television. We will also attempt to help medical research and the arts, and I hope that we will make a difference in the lives of many people, not just a few. But the specific firms, schools, and programs that will be listed will require some thought and divorcing emotions from the future as we try to figure out the best way to help as many people as possible.

This painting - "Funeral Procession" by T Coleman is a lovely representation
of a stylized procession, probably dating from the mid-point of the 1900's. I really
love the whole feel of this picture. 

So as I enter the weekend, I hope that you have a wonderful one and that you also give some thought about how you can impact the future. Everyone has a legacy - make yours a positive one.