I'm Angry - I Think I Have a Right To Be Angry

I'm running really tight on time right now, and I have no idea why. Maybe I took an extra long time in my morning meditation, but my morning fast-walk was pretty much within my normal time span. Maybe I'm running late because I'm disgusted and saddened and angry right now. I'm angry at both DH and myself. 

This quote from Vincent van Gogh just about 
sums up my feelings right about now. GRRRRR

I'm angry at myself for being stupid enough to want to shovel the driveway in mid-afternoon. It's a long driveway, and it takes serious time, and I was going really slowly. But 1/3 of the way done, my armpit began to hurt. So I switched to do all of the motions with my left arm as much as possible, finished the driveway, did my errand, returned home, and since it was continuing to snow, I let it pile up. Today I have pockets of ??? under my underarm tape that weren't there 24 hours ago. And they're a bit tender to the touch. I'd be really concerned about it, but I see my Surgeon on Wednesday, so I'll have some answers then (and probably get scolded, which I well deserve). 

I did NOT have any lymph nodes under the 
armpit removed, because biopsies throughout 
the area showed no signs of cancer. But, Doc 
did a bunch of biopsies, so I have serious 
stitches under the armpit. That's what seemed 
to break open yesterday. I see her on Wednesday, 
so I'll just hang in until then. 

I bought DH two really nice valentines almost two months ago and gave them to him yesterday morning. He took a glance at them, said he'd been too busy to get me anything, tossed them to the side, and dove into reading his morning paper. I'm going to retrieve those cards today and shred them. He doesn't deserve them, and I'm angry. Did I mention that I'm angry? LOL

I might just shred the two valentines I purchased for 
DH. He certainly doesn't deserve to get them. I haven't 
had a decent Valentine's Day for more the a decade, and 
I think I'm really tired of being taken for granted. 

I also had a large, multi-point email ready to send to a place where we're thinking about placing some of our inventory for auction. And ... it disappeared. I've looked everywhere, tried almost everything, but no success. I can't seem to retrieve it, and I really need to because I had worked on it for more than an hour and it was finally asking all of the questions I had. I'll try again today to retrieve it. I usually have auto-save in place, but that only works for so many times before it starts overwriting. Still, even an overwritten older version would save me a LOT of rewriting. 

I'm hoping I can recapture the letter I was working on 
last night. I was working on the laptop, so I might have 
a small chance of retrieval. Otherwise, I have to rewrite it, 
and it was long, and comprehensive, and I'm pretty sure 
I'd forget a germane point by now. *sigh* 

So, that was my day yesterday. Some good things, more bad things, and anger - a lot of anger. What a crap way to spend Valentine's Day. Have an excellent Tuesday and may all of us have a truly excellent day today. I'll be back tomorrow. Slava Ukraini.