A Celebration of Mothers

I'm sending a call-out to all  of you because we've all had mothers. Some mothers are wonderful - we think about them and it's almost like a perfect Disney family - smiling children, caring parents, a pet or two and, of course, the swooping and singing birds. Other parents aren't the greatest at parenthood. In some cases, parents should never have been allowed the responsibility of raising a child, or even a parakeet. Still - all of us have mothers and this weekend is Mother's Day here in the USA.

Mom was a real beauty and Dad always treated her like
a Queen. If it was within his power, he would get her
anything she wanted. In that small person (she was
only 5' 2") was a backbone of steel. She was a strong,
capable and amazing woman. 

I am fortunate. I had two mothers - one who gave birth to me and immediately gave me up, and one who saw a baby as an opportunity to shower someone with love, sunshine and possibilities. I never met my birth mother, but I'm totally OK with that. If I had been born in the USA, I might have tried to examine the records and discover who my birth mother was, but for a foreign birth - much more difficult.

Like most adoptees, I've thought about looking for my mother. My cousin hunted for her birth parents, found them, and they wanted nothing to do with her. On the other hand, my niece hunted for her birth mother, found her, and discovered an extended family and a racial identity that has made her life richer and more expansive since then. My husband never bothered hunting for his birth mother, even though he was locally born and could probably have discovered his origins fairly easily. But I never bothered - a foreign mother and an adoption from the years when records were closely guarded and never released - I think it would be too much digging and not really worth the effort.

I had a mother - I had two. They both loved me, they both matter, they're both in my heart. I'm grateful beyond words for my birth mother because her actions allowed me to have my adoptive mother - a talented, loving, brilliant woman I was, and still am, proud to call MOTHER. Celebrate your mother this weekend, even if you live outside of the United States. Mothers need more than a single day. Those who are actually acting as compassionate, loving caregivers deserve celebration every day.

Have a wonderful weekend, I'll be back on Monday! I'm off to swim.

Friends and Relatives

It's amazing what a small amount of kindness can do. As a bit of background - I have a virtual pet - a frog - on Super Poke Pets (want to friend my pet? Email me directly). Hopper is a happy frog who celebrated my birthday with me by indulging in a Hobbit tradition - that of giving gifts to others on our own birthdays. So, starting Sunday night and continuing into Monday, I gave a gift of breast-cancer awareness tulips to each of my virtual pet friends (almost 300 of them). In return I received 48 fabulous gifts from others and more than 100 happy birthday wishes. What a wonderful day it was :-)

And my cousin, my best friend as we were growing up, also wrote a great Email to me. Both of us are adopted children, but we approach our adoptions with slightly different perspectives. I have to assume that it is because we were raised differently, but everyone has different things that they consider vital. She send a short document detailing her feelings about adoption. My response to her included the following:

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"I thank my birth mother for her courage. I don't want additional relatives, and I will come down with health issues if it is in my future - my past won't change that. I am secure that I was blessed to have been brought up in a country of plenty where females are treated with respect and where personal endeavors are not only approved but encouraged. I feel unbearably fortunate in my life - the little things that caused X to happen, which caused Y to happen, and which caused Z to happen. Paths taken can never be rewalked or changed, and I don't think I would want to. I had my usual problems during adolescence, but I know, now and forever, that I had parents who truly loved me and who enriched my life with their loves of music, literature, and history. My life has continued past their boundaries into my own life, shared with my best friend and a host of other characters, all of whom contribute to who I am today. I have no regrets, and I have no real desires to change anything and refuse to add to any of the evil in the world by thinking in any negative fashions about what was, basically, an extremely positive experience. I always had the security of knowing that I was a 100% wanted child because I was personally chosen to be the daughter of my parents. How many others can say so much. "

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Help someone in your own life to feel loved and cherished today, and encourage them in their own endeavors and creativity. The pay-off can be magnificant and can transcend borders of nations and beliefs.