So it's now time for the left breast to get its' biopsy, and probable extension in the armpit as well. *sigh* My friend Claire (aka "Chickie Mama") will be there once again as quiet support. She's been an absolute rock through all of this. Where DH will rant and rave and not really know what to do, Claire just quietly supports - no questions and no expectations. Exactly what I need when I'm being selfish and totally self-centered.
 |
I don't enjoy being totally self-centered, but I'm not going to allow myself to be pushed into a corner, either. I'm going to roll with the waves and eventually land on a new shore. Then I'll explore this brave new world I've been pushed into. |
I don't enjoy being self centered, however. I have always taken care of myself (except when I haven't - consciously), and I really don't expect anyone else to walk paths next to me. DH tries, and fails more often than not. Claire is surprisingly effective, just a quiet voice and a gentle nudge.
 |
DH doesn't listen very well, so my whispers tend to be lost in the dead air. He's having to pay attention now, and he's not liking it at all. |
Today's appointment is a bit earlier than the last one, I'll need to be at the cancer center no later than 10:00 am. They have a two hour block of time reserved for me - it's three different procedures they'll be doing. It's going to be similar, in some respects, to the fancier mammogram I had earlier, with tissue samples and the placement of a reminder nodule that will show up on imaging as a target center. Of course, I'll also be back on the 4th for some last minute surgery prep, and on the 5th, I'll have my breast surgery. The question that comes up is what type, and where? Originally I was scheduled for a lumpectomy on my right breast. Now? I'm not so sure that we won't be working on both breasts, and that I might not have a recommendation for full mastectomies instead of the mini-me versions.
 |
There are options - there are always options. I'm not a very vain person, so I'm far more focused on quality and length of life than whether I have breasts or not. |
I've never really placed much personal value on my exterior appearance. If I end up losing both breasts, I might have to look into getting a frontal tattoo after things have healed up thoroughly. I'll have plenty of time to research what I might want, and to save up for a trip to South Carolina to see Rodney. I wouldn't trust anyone else to do my inkwork. It would be VERY expensive, and I'll have to start saving up for that if I decide to go ahead with it.
 |
The difference between DH and myself is that I will see the new door and want to wander through it, whereas he will spend far too long looking for the doorway that is now closed or invisible to him. |
But, as the saying goes, when one door closes, another opens up. I fully expect that in my life, and I am focused on that because focusing on the negatives just isn't my style. Therefore, have a fantastic last day of January and I'll be back for February 1st. Be kind, to yourself and others. Slava Ukraini.
No comments:
Post a Comment