Thursday, October 17, 2013


How to reduce stress? It's a problem because we all have stress and we all deal with stress, positive or negative. Stress can be a driver in our lives, it can even be a lifesaver, causing people to do things that are almost superhuman in scope. It is that burst of adrenaline that can be caused by stress that pushes the rescuer up the ladder or across the raging torrent to rescue the elder, the child or the pet. Stress can be addictive - that rush can become something sought after. But like most addictions, a tolerance can develop that will require more and more stress to get triggered.

Stress can be minimized with practice and thoughtful choices. 

Over the past twenty years or so, I have tried to eliminate or at least decrease the stress in my life. I have enough outside stress factors - I don't need to be adding any internal triggers to my life. I changed jobs. I periodically cut the caffeine out of my life (and usually allow it back in after six months or so). I stopped listening to angry or sad music (rap, country, etc) and went back to the classical music I've loved all my life. I've tried to train myself to look at the beauty in situations instead of the frustrating parts of traffic jams, etc. But stress always seems to work through the chinks. I handle my stress pro-actively. I think about my stress and change things when necessary to lower my levels. My DH, on the other hand, is drowning in stress because he looks at the details but misses the big picture. So it's time for me to step in and put my foot down with some force, and I hate having to do it.

Usually when I have to run an intervention, although things end up good overall, the tensions are high and a fight is in sight. Since I want to have a nice weekend, I'll have to address this quickly - probably today - to get the rusted stress wheels moving toward resolution. If I time things just right and say things just right, it will all work smoothly. Otherwise it will be impossible and one more time of hurt feelings will be written into our history.

I hate tiptoeing around issues. If there's a problem, I want to know it. If something needs resolution, I want to talk about it. Just don't sit and stew about it, expecting me to pick up on the fact that there is a problem because of the way you are acting. Good grief!

I hate it when adults turn into petulant five-year-old children. 

We're so close on his father's house, and I have a suspicion that the final bit is unconsciously being held back because it was his childhood home and some part of him doesn't want to see it go. He has always had a problem letting things go and this is a big one. But there's a window that needs new glass (I'm going to try and convince him to just call a glass repair company rather than doing it himself), there's a little bit of stuff in the living room that needs to be donated to Goodwill, and the kitchen counter needs to be cleaned off. The larger living room TV (old, but functional) can come home with us to replace a TV that isn't working any more, and that will do it.

I would rather let a professional fix it right the first time
and just write him a check from the estate. It just makes sense!

Now to just get him on the same page, sign the contracts, and allow Mary to actually sell the house...

No comments: