Monday, September 16, 2013

Aspects of Love

Today is my 34th wedding anniversary - my DH and I have been together for more than 40 years now, but only "officially legal" for the past 34. We looked at each other last night and said we were amazed that we hadn't killed each other yet (LOL). But in some ways that's true because love is a boat that sometimes leaks.

All marriages can be leaky boats. How well you bail and patch
can determine the strength of the relationship over time.

We have had our fights and it would have been very easy to walk away and start again as separate people. But I think that's the easy way out. It is harder to work things out and stick things out in many instances. It requires compromise and the willingness to give a little to get a little.

Arguments happen. People's feelings get hurt, and old hurts can sometimes be dredged back up again and again and again. Doors slam, walls can be punched, and tears can flow. There is absolutely no guarantee of sunshine, lollipops and singing birds when you join with your life partner. And there are times when it is the wrong partner - totally wrong. But I think that in many instances today's marriages are often looked upon as temporary by those who enter into them. And that's a shame.

Marriage used to be for life. I'm not necessarily advocating that - a bad marriage is something to run away from as fast as you can. But if it is basically a good partnership, then why run when one thing goes bad? The thing to remember is that Love is a partnership. Love (with the exception of Narcissus) requires a second entity in the equation. Yes, that other entity can be a puppy, kitty, gecko, snake, pig, or even a deity, but often it is another person of the same or opposite sex. That other person becomes a foil to bounce ideas off, a mirror for our own feelings which magnifies the good times, and a strength to draw from in times of sorrow.

I've been fortunate to have had my best friend as my partner for these past years and I am happy to celebrate my anniversary today. We're pretty low-key about these things. We went to Renaissance Fest yesterday, had food and chocolate and enjoyed some of the shows. Returning home we picked up some sushi to share for dinner and after watching his Minnesota Vikings lose (recorded) and my Denver Broncos win (decisively and happily in a live broadcast), we called it an early night. That's the extent of our celebration, but it's all we need.

Have a fantastic Monday.

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