Remembering Two Dear Friends and My Own Update is a Bit Less Optimistic

I'm going to start out today remembering two dear on-line friends who are no longer with us - Fiondil (Arthur) and Helen. I knew Helen from the old beading boards on AOL, then later on other general chat services. She had some serious health issues with her heart, but embraced everything about life that she could. I remember her pure joy when she was able to swim with dolphins on a rare vacation with her husband. It was one of the highlights of her life. 

Helen had a serious heart issue and surgery was no longer 
an option for her. Her husband tried to ensure that her 
life was filled with memories of joy, and when she had 
an opportunity to swim with dolphins, she was totally 
over the moon! She died a few months afterward. 

Fiondil was a fellow author within the Tolkien universe. He was prolific. He lived in a group housing structure, and when he came home from his daily job, he grabbed a quick dinner and then settled down in front of his computer, writing. His world-building was fabulous, his attention to detail was minute. For many years he had taught in China, and every once in a while he would share some of that experience in photos or memories, but most of all, I remember his epic writings. I think he understood Namo and the entire concept of death as it is segregated within the Tolkien universe, better than anyone else. I'm honored that he allowed me to play in his playground every now and again, and I wept bitterly when he died, hunched over his computer keyboard, doing what he loved best. 

The first time I ever saw the Armilary Sphere in Beijing was 
in one of Arthur's photos. He taught school in Beijing for several 
years. When he had to return to the USA, he moved into a 
religious community and even though I don't think he was 
ordained, lived within their walls until he died. Most of his 
epic stories can be found on "Stories of Arda". He's never a 
super easy read, but he'll always make you think. I wept for 
days when he passed, and I miss him to this day. 

So if you have a spare minute or two today, think about those people you've known who have had an influence on your own life, and if they are no longer on this earth, send a prayer out into the vastness of space - that their spirits are whole, that they lived the lives they chose and left the world a better place, and that, if the wheel comes around for them once again, they will enrich all of us by being on this or another world once again. 

The amount of cancer visible through the MRI is kicking 
me up to the next level - not exactly what I wanted to 
hear. It's quite a bit more widespread than we had hoped, 
and the lymph glands are involved as well. Time for 
some serious thought and discussions with my doctor. 

Now ... back to my crazy reality. The MRI results came in, and I've got more of a problem than we had originally thought. *sigh* There's more involvement in my breast, and there is involvement in the lympth nodes of the armpit as well. I'm due back at the clinic for another round of biopsies on Friday the 31st. We're barely catching all of this before the actual surgery takes place on the 5th of February. I'll be talking with DH about options later today or tomorrow. I'm of the opinion that if it's much more widespread, I might be much better advised to do a full mastectomy instead of just a lumpectomy. I don't think DH will have any objection, but I do think he should at least be allowed to offer an opinion. In any case, We're catching things now that would not have been possible 20, or maybe even 10 years ago, so in that way, I'm totally blessed. Continued positive thoughts are, of course, very appreciated. 

Have an excellent weekend and I'll be back on Monday morning. Slava Ukraini.