Today is my 44th wedding anniversary, and that day seems so very far in the distant past. I still remember DH coming up to me telling me that the table set-up was missing an entire table of eight, and they were quickly putting up another one and getting it set. I remember the autumn weather was absolutely perfect, and since it was an outdoor wedding in a pavilion, that was rather important. I recall the September trees turning golden, the snow on the distant peaks, and the fact that my singer changed the order of the songs on me at the last minute, without telling me. Most of all, I remember my family and friends, DH's Dad and Mom, and the Judge, because I refused to be married in any religious ceremony.
It was rather amazing that DH's Mom was there. She was a true homebody - hated to leave her house. It was totally in the air until the last minute whether she would be on the plane, or whether DH's older sister would arrive in her stead. But she was brave and actually flew out for the wedding. Since DH's grandmother wasn't able to travel, I made sure to order a floral wristlet for her to wear at her care home so that she would also be part of the wedding party, at least in spirit.
I mentioned that we had a judge officiating the wedding, and we also incorporated a lot of Native American symbolism and words into our speeches and invitations. I actually had tried to find a religious person to officiate, but the Catholics wouldn't do it because I was nominally Jewish, and the Rabbis wouldn't do it because I was marrying a Catholic. For me, they were two sides of the same coin, so I tossed the coin away completely and went with a civil ceremony.
Looking back on it, I have to chuckle a bit. DH's older sister was the first in the family to be married, and she had a Catholic mass - the whole nine yards ceremony, etc. When his older brother was married, they had a Christian ceremony - I think it was Lutheran, but basically, it was generic Christian. Things were a bit more laid back. He ended up getting married a couple of times but he didn't have staying power with any one woman. When DH and I got married, we had a civil ceremony with a judge, and didn't really mention religion at all. I think that was probably the best route to go for us, so it all worked out the way it needed to be.
So, here we are. Still married, still figuring out how to live with and around each other. We get on each other's nerves, we fight, we make up, and we continue on. It hasn't been easy - love really doesn't do much more than pave the way between two people. After that, it's up to them to continue building the road - grading the road surface, obtaining the covering, and making it into a parkway over time. Whether you're newly married, in a long-term relationship, or looking back on the years that are no more, you'll recognize that. It's a road that you build with your significant other. It goes up and down, it has occasional backtracks, and maybe a clover-leaf or two, but you're on that road, going from Point A to Point B to Point C, etc., together. May your road be smooth and straight.
Slava Ukraini - I'll be back on Monday. (No photos today, sorry about that).
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