Habits, A Bit of Personal History, and Looking Ahead Into a New Sunrise

My usual Friday Zoom calls are now on Wednesday, and that's left me looking at my calendar, wondering what is missing. It's rather amazing how quickly something can become a habit. I have plenty of computer things and on-line classes to try and catch up on, so I won't be bored. I'll still be sitting in front of a computer screen for much of the day. But habits, once formed and etched into our souls through repetition, can be difficult to overwrite. 

Habits form from repetition, and repetition really 
strikes when conditions are wide open and you 
are receptive to those conditions. Choose carefully. 
You only want habits to be Constructive, not 
Destructive. 

It's reliance on habit that can cause deadly habits to form, send down roots, and finally, kill. It's habit when a smoker pulls out their next cigarette. It's habit when a drug addict turns to their next fix. And sometimes it's habit when a parent raises a hand to a child. Either habit ... or conditioning. 

Habit v Conditioning - it's a pathway that has been 
studied for years, but it's still a bit of a mystery. I 
looked through dozens of graphics, but ended up with one 
of the simplest. Associative Learning leads 
to Classical Conditioning and Operant Conditioning. 
Non-associative Learning leads to Habituation 
and Sensitization. Observational Learning 
is on it's own platform. 

Raising a hand to a child is often conditioning - poor parenting from their own parents being carried through to the next generation. When you add external pressures to the mix, pressures like low income, poor education, inability to find work that pays a living wage, and inability to take time to find better jobs, you've got a downward spiraling situation. In the middle of all of that, those most innocent, the children, are also apt to be the least vocal and most convenient victims. 

This wasn't me, although it potentially could have 
been DH since we were both adopted, but he was 
born in St Paul. However, what really gets me on 
this headline from the Minneapolis Paper sometime 
in the 1950's is the headline - "Babies Who 'Have No 
Right to be Born'". Wow. Just Wow. 

I was born in the last century during a time when having a baby outside of marriage was frowned on. My mother, engaged to a man who was not my father, abandoned me at birth to start a new family with a new man, and I was left to find my own way. I had wonderful adoptive parents - I was extremely fortunate in who raised me. But underneath everything is always that thought that I had been tossed away like an old pair of shoes or a threadbare sock. There are times when that comes back to haunt me. 

My Chakra Healing class teaches that the root chakra 
forms around your earliest days - whether you were 
held closely and felt love, whether you felt safe. My 
WildFit program dates some things back to whether you 
were breast fed or bottle fed. So many things go back 
to the early days of your life. Mine was institutional, so 
I guarantee I was bottle fed. As for cuddled? Maybe. 
Sometimes. 

I never searched for my birth mother - I never wanted to see her, meet her, see if there was another family where I "belonged". Mom and Dad were willing to help me as much as they could, but I didn't have an interest. I still don't. It's unlikely that my birth mother is still living, after all, I'm in my 60's now. But looking at things through a long lens, I have to say I'm grateful I was a throw-away. Because of that, I got great adoptive parents, had a loving household, went to good schools, and married a man who is frustrating in the extreme, but who loves me none-the-less. I've had a good life, and I expect to continue having a good life for as many more years as I'm given (hopefully at least two more decades). 

Every sunrise offers us new opportunities and a 
chance for a new beginning. You can dwell on 
the past, but that won't move you forward. Choose 
instead to focus on the path ahead, rather than 
the road already traveled. Learn from the past, 
but don't dwell on it. 

Are you lucky in your life? Have you had times in your life when you felt worthless, but picked yourself back up, shook the mud from your fur, and rejoined the human race? I think we all have times of doubt and feelings of low self-worth. The key to success is pushing through those days and waking to new possibilities, new experiences, and new things to love. A new sunrise is a new start. Have an excellent day. I'll be back tomorrow. Please remember to be kind, and stay safe.