For memorial services of this magnitude, the gym is open 24-7 for the entire three days. There is always at least one family member in the front row of chairs, to allow people to express their condolences and pass along a gift of a Pendleton blanket, star quilt or just some cash in a card to help the family offset their expenses. All gifts, no matter how large or small, are appreciated. Blankets and quilts were already hanging from ropes strung on both sides of the tipi up to the basketball hoops at the sides of the gym. It was colorful and beautiful. They would all be given away by the family before the end of the day.
I drove in to the Reservation around 8:00 am, and my car decided it should go to the right at the fork in the road, instead of the left. That brought me back to familiar grounds - family land and my Grandmother's old house, still looking pretty decent. A ramp had been added to the eastern side, heading back to the kitchen door, but the front looked the same as the last time I saw it in 2001. Parking after pushing through the usual rutted mud puddle of the previous night's rain, I walked up the ramp and knocked on the door. It was answered by a woman I didn't know, but when I asked for Starlet, she ushered me in and called out for my sister.
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| The Wind River Reservation is home to the Northern Arapaho and the Eastern Shoshone tribes, in the Central Western part of Wyoming, west of Casper. Just to the Northwest of the reservation is the Eastern border of Yellowstone National Park. |
As Starlet got up from her bed in the back bedroom, a chair was cleared for me and I had a chance to meet new relatives - Auntie Diane and her daughter and grandchildren who had come over from Wyoming - Wind River Arapaho. I remembered Grandma mentioning them a long time ago, but had never had the chance to meet them before. As I introduced myself, Starlet came down the short hallway and I had to jump up and give her a big hug (and get one in return, because she gives the BEST hugs).
I didn't stay long, 15-20 minutes or so. I knew I would see them again at the memorial, but I had wanted to see my sister Starlet. I hadn't seen her since I sat next to her in the family row at Grandmother's memorial, although we always exchange holiday cards. She had retired from her job almost a year ago and told me she was enjoying retirement. She and I talked to Auntie Diane about when I would come up from the Cities and I would sit with Grandma Zona and Cousin Ben and we would all bead together. We looked at family photos on the wall and shared memories - good ones. After getting another hug, I shook hands with everyone and left for the gymnasium.
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| Tipis are a traditional Sioux home - very portable, easy to set up, warm in the winter, but cool in the summer. My brother's tipi was painted with the handprints of many people all around up as far as I could reach. All of the people who he had helped over the years at Ceremony or in life. |
It was still early when I parked at the school. There were only 20-30 people scattered in the gym, and Lisa had been given the overnight family member duty. I had lots of time to look over the photos and storyboards of my brother, as well as enter the tipi to view his body and talk to him for a bit. It hurt, seeing him there, dressed in his ceremonial buckskins on a bed of buffalo hides with his dance regalia on tipi stands behind him. We had a difficult relationship, but I loved him and he loved me. That I never doubted, despite the problems over the years. I had learned a tremendous amount from him over the years and my life would have been radically different if I had never met my brother.
I exited the tipi, finished looking at the photographs and memories, shook Lisa's hand and gave her a hug. We shared the experience of being the overnight person, since I had done that for Grandma Zona while Starlet and Pete returned home to get some some sleep. It's a hard thing to do - that overnight family vigil. After a short chat, I went in back for a cup of coffee and seated myself on the bleachers once again, this time on the opposite side of the gym. A man sat down on my right - the same person who had been at me left the night before - David Snowball. We started talking about Floyd and about where he was living, in southern Wisconsin. It was really lovely to talk with him a bit, get a bit of his life story.
After my sister Maja and her companion Solo arrived a while later, I moved over to a folding chair on the main floor. It was almost time to get things going once more and we knew we wanted a bit of room to move.
Well, it looks like this will be a four-day recitation after all. It's OK. I'm getting a chance to put things down in writing to share with all of you, and I'm also getting the opportunity to shed a few more tears which is not a bad thing either. Tomorrow's post should bring me through the ceremonies and the actual burial, at least that's the goal. Have a great Wednesday and I'll be back tomorrow.
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