It's Friday, Right? - MEH!

So, it's Friday and I'm very "Meh" about today. I feel fat and old, I feel uninspired, and I have no real desire to go to work and sell things to customers. But - like so many of you - I really don't have much of a choice. I have to sell things to put food on the table and pay the mortgage.

Maybe I just need some Happy Feet of my own today...

I haven't written anything original in more than a week which is a real dry spell for me. The Tolkien Weekly drabble prompts for the "Birds" series just really didn't do much for me. I have some basic ideas jotted down, but haven't been motivated to actually settle down and compose at all.

I'm just burned out today. 

Maybe I'm experiencing a bit of burn-out, or maybe I'd rather just have my head in a book and leave the writing to those who do it better than I do. At least for a while. I'm a bit frustrated on the writing end, though, because I'm feeling that practically every author does a much better job at the craft of writing than I do. It's a momentary depression and I'll really concentrate on not allowing it to take over my mind, but it's my daily struggle pushed to the next level.

Why stay with one flower when so many are calling out?

I think that part of why I'm struggling is the knowledge that I am not a unidirectional creator. I know people who work in one media and through that one media, they fine tune and eventually achieve success. I bounce all around like a ball in a pinball machine. I write, bead, paint, craft, enamel, and draw, and I'm sure there are other media that I enveloped into the above list or forgot completely like book binding and silk painting. I find it difficult to stay with a single flower when there is a field of blooms standing before me.

TJ and Eric - two people deeply in love whose world
crashed down within the past year. The highest highs
followed by the lowest lows. 

I think one thing affecting me this morning is the total destruction of a Happily Ever After that was so deserved, and so looked forward to and supported by so many. A love affair of several years that was due to find its culmination in marriage later this year crashed and burned because of the serious illness of one of the two partners. I'm stunned that the illness of one which now seems to have resulted in paralysis below the neck has been followed by a nervous breakdown in the other causing him to pull back to rebuild his own psyche. They have friends, supporters, and a network of people behind them, but their own physical realities have caused them to have to pull away from each other and their best support, their love for each other, may well not survive this blow. I've been reeling from this for the past few days and I guess I just have to think and internalize a bit more before my own balance is returned and creativity can come back.

In the meanwhile, it's Friday, the weather is beautiful, and a passing owl gifted me with a gorgeous feather which sits on my desk in front of me as I type this. I know things will improve, and apologize for using my blog as a toxic waste dump today. Back at you tomorrow and have a fabulous Friday.