Saturday, July 20, 2013

Spinning Wheels and Ending Lines

The final day of the mountains for Le Tour today. Tomorrow will be a flat stage for the ride into Paris from The Louvre with a first-time night podium finish. But today the boys will still have their work cut out for them. Today's final day in the Alps is punishing with three Cat 3 peaks, one Cat 2, one Cat 1 and it ends with the HC Col Annecy-Semnoz. It's a killer stage and the time gaps will increase again. Froome is still in the yellow and if he ends today in yellow, he'll be on the top step on the podium in Paris tomorrow. I'll probably miss the actual ride into Paris, I'll be at the wake for my father-by-marriage, but Chickie is recording it and maybe can pass me a copy so that I can see the ending sprint. Here's the profile and map for today's stage...

What a course they have for their final day in the Alps today. Only
125 km, but unrelenting in intensity. Just look at the profile of the
final col below... 

It's a serious climb for the end of the Alps. I think
the riders will be happy to be facing the final
day tomorrow.

So as we prepare to bury my Father-by-Marriage it seems like we are spinning our wheels while hurrying up to wait. The wake is tomorrow afternoon. DH wrote down words to say, but he's not sure if he (a) can say them without breaking down, or (b) wants to say them at all. But it's a help to write them down anyway so either way I'm fine with it. He's found a suit that he can fit into, although he think he'll have to wear the same suit for the wake on Sunday and the funeral on Monday, and I have a closet full of black clothing since I wear black all the time. No problem there.

I'm just spinning my wheels right now...

I'll have to sit through a whole bunch of prayers. The local parish priest who knew my father-by-marriage is coming to lead prayers an hour into the wake and we'll have a funeral mass the next day. As I've joked to several friends, I'm always rather surprised that the entryway of the church doesn't burst into flames as I pass into the building. I'm uncomfortable with all of the prayers, but he was a devout Catholic man and he would be happy with them. I'll keep quiet, hold the Powers in my heart, and remind myself that the god being portrayed by the prayers is only a single aspect of the greater Power. I'm OK with that, just have to be focused.

Power is everywhere, I just have to remind myself of that.

I was thinking back over my own family lineage early this morning. I come from a small family of Jewish origins - people who ran from the Nazi forces during World War II. (My Native American family adopted me as a member when I was already adult, so that's quite a bit different.) The majority of my family were killed in the War. It was Hitler's goal to eliminate the Jewish people. I guess, in my family, he succeeded - a generation or two out. I have no children of my own - never wanted them. My closest relative, my cousin, is a lesbian in a long-time committed relationship and they never adopted or had children either. The only person in my "immediate" family is my other 'cousin' - the daughter of my Godmother - and she had two children. So my line ends with me.

This picture of the entry to Auschwitz is more current than many
photos that are out in cyberspace. My grandparents were killed here.

If I was open to accepting guilt for this, I certainly could, but I'm actually quite at peace with my decision. If there is anything that passes on after I'm gone, I hope it's my artwork and my writing. As for me, I'll be the dust that causes you to sneeze or that gets pulled into the corn or wheat as part of what allows them to grow strong. I'm quite content with that thought.  Have an excellent weekend.

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