Habits, A Bit of Personal History, and Looking Ahead Into a New Sunrise

My usual Friday Zoom calls are now on Wednesday, and that's left me looking at my calendar, wondering what is missing. It's rather amazing how quickly something can become a habit. I have plenty of computer things and on-line classes to try and catch up on, so I won't be bored. I'll still be sitting in front of a computer screen for much of the day. But habits, once formed and etched into our souls through repetition, can be difficult to overwrite. 

Habits form from repetition, and repetition really 
strikes when conditions are wide open and you 
are receptive to those conditions. Choose carefully. 
You only want habits to be Constructive, not 
Destructive. 

It's reliance on habit that can cause deadly habits to form, send down roots, and finally, kill. It's habit when a smoker pulls out their next cigarette. It's habit when a drug addict turns to their next fix. And sometimes it's habit when a parent raises a hand to a child. Either habit ... or conditioning. 

Habit v Conditioning - it's a pathway that has been 
studied for years, but it's still a bit of a mystery. I 
looked through dozens of graphics, but ended up with one 
of the simplest. Associative Learning leads 
to Classical Conditioning and Operant Conditioning. 
Non-associative Learning leads to Habituation 
and Sensitization. Observational Learning 
is on it's own platform. 

Raising a hand to a child is often conditioning - poor parenting from their own parents being carried through to the next generation. When you add external pressures to the mix, pressures like low income, poor education, inability to find work that pays a living wage, and inability to take time to find better jobs, you've got a downward spiraling situation. In the middle of all of that, those most innocent, the children, are also apt to be the least vocal and most convenient victims. 

This wasn't me, although it potentially could have 
been DH since we were both adopted, but he was 
born in St Paul. However, what really gets me on 
this headline from the Minneapolis Paper sometime 
in the 1950's is the headline - "Babies Who 'Have No 
Right to be Born'". Wow. Just Wow. 

I was born in the last century during a time when having a baby outside of marriage was frowned on. My mother, engaged to a man who was not my father, abandoned me at birth to start a new family with a new man, and I was left to find my own way. I had wonderful adoptive parents - I was extremely fortunate in who raised me. But underneath everything is always that thought that I had been tossed away like an old pair of shoes or a threadbare sock. There are times when that comes back to haunt me. 

My Chakra Healing class teaches that the root chakra 
forms around your earliest days - whether you were 
held closely and felt love, whether you felt safe. My 
WildFit program dates some things back to whether you 
were breast fed or bottle fed. So many things go back 
to the early days of your life. Mine was institutional, so 
I guarantee I was bottle fed. As for cuddled? Maybe. 
Sometimes. 

I never searched for my birth mother - I never wanted to see her, meet her, see if there was another family where I "belonged". Mom and Dad were willing to help me as much as they could, but I didn't have an interest. I still don't. It's unlikely that my birth mother is still living, after all, I'm in my 60's now. But looking at things through a long lens, I have to say I'm grateful I was a throw-away. Because of that, I got great adoptive parents, had a loving household, went to good schools, and married a man who is frustrating in the extreme, but who loves me none-the-less. I've had a good life, and I expect to continue having a good life for as many more years as I'm given (hopefully at least two more decades). 

Every sunrise offers us new opportunities and a 
chance for a new beginning. You can dwell on 
the past, but that won't move you forward. Choose 
instead to focus on the path ahead, rather than 
the road already traveled. Learn from the past, 
but don't dwell on it. 

Are you lucky in your life? Have you had times in your life when you felt worthless, but picked yourself back up, shook the mud from your fur, and rejoined the human race? I think we all have times of doubt and feelings of low self-worth. The key to success is pushing through those days and waking to new possibilities, new experiences, and new things to love. A new sunrise is a new start. Have an excellent day. I'll be back tomorrow. Please remember to be kind, and stay safe. 

Books - My Motivator, My Lifelong Friend and My Addiction

How long do you do something before it becomes a habit that you don't even think about any more? For example, I'm on the treadmill 6 days a week and have been since my broken ankle allowed me to resume activity. Today was the 197th day I fought my way through my routine. I've extended my routine to 1.75 miles now, requiring it to be complete within 30 minutes (currently I'm tracking between 28-29 minutes for my mileage). It's not a run, I'm not allowed to have anything that would be "high" impact. It's a very fast walk to build up a nice sweat. Is it a routine? Probably. A habit? Maybe. 

The audio book I'm currently listening to 
is TJ Klune's magnificent "The House 
in the Cerulean Sea". It's such a masterpiece, 
and a joy to listen to. I sometimes will 
catch nuances I didn't catch with a first 
reading when I listen to the audio. This 
one keeps me coming back to the treadmill 
so that I can listen to the next chapter(s). 

I know, for a fact, that I couldn't do this almost every day without something to keep me occupied. For the treadmill, I count on my audiobooks. I've been a fan of audiobooks since I first started on the treadmill in the early 2000's. At that time I had abdominal surgery and asked when I could start exercising. I was told I could start really slowly, so I did - R E A L L Y   S L O W L Y.   I think I was doing a pace between one and two miles per hour, and I wasn't able to do much more than fifteen minutes or so for the first week, but I was determined. I didn't have any great portable device for my audio books at that time, so endured a lot of skipped parts on CD's as my speed increased. The book I was listening to at that time? "The Lord of the Rings" by J.R.R. Tolkien, of course. A standard love of mine for more than 50 years. Books? For me they are a habit - an addiction. 

I own multiple copies of the Trilogy - hard 
cover and paperback. I own several sets 
of the movie as well, and picture books, 
magazines, and even a Tolkien trivia game. 
It's an addiction of mine for most of my life. 

In my quest for good audio books, I switched over to an iPod when it became affordable, and started downloading books from Audible.com for my listening pleasure. I've used audio books and iPods ever since (the only Apple products I own). I even have two underwater iPods that allow me to swim with either music or a book. I've kept up an annual membership with Audible.com since those early days also, and now own more than 250 audio books. If I love an author, it's a good bet I'll be buying their audio version as well as their e-book. I re-read books constantly, and re-listen to the good ones again and again. 

Some of the first books I purchased on audio were books 
by Elizabeth Peters. I think I have a complete set of her 
Egyptian books now. I had the rare pleasure of listening 
to her speak in Denver along with my friend Sharon, a year 
or so before she died. I would have loved to take a tour 
through Egypt with her - what a treat that would have been. 

That, combined with the fact that I always have an e-book uploaded into my phone at any given time, declares to the world that I LOVE BOOKS. No hesitation here - I've always loved books, and I will always love them. On days when I really don't feel like getting onto the treadmill for another workout, it's the book calling to me that gets me there. I want to listen to the next portion - another chapter or two, another plot twist or character. I'm not sure I could develop any constructive habits without a book intertwined with it. How about you? Do you always have a book at hand? Do you listen to audio books? Are you a total book addict - book worm - like I am? I've met many of my readers through my life=long love of Tolkien, but I'm well aware that I have e-friends whom I've met through other means as well. What role do books play in your life and what types of books do you prefer to read? 

I'm addicted to books and I'm NOT looking 
for a cure. From the time I learned to read, 
I've had a book either in my hands or at hand. 
I like to think it's a healthy relationship ... at 
least most of the time - LOL. 

On that note, I'm out of here. Have an excellent day and please, don't be complacent. Be kind, stay safe and please, PLEASE, wear your mask. I'll be back tomorrow. 

Changing A Habit - Personal Growth with MindValley

Habits can be changed. Ask anyone who has given up smoking cigarettes. Ask anyone who has altered their eating habits to lose weight or improve their physical well-being. Ask anyone who has broken the hold of opiates or other drugs on their life. 

Bad habits can be learned, and what's learned 
can also be unlearned or altered. Today I set upon 
a path of a new habit to unlearn an old, poor 
habit. It's exciting and a little scary. 

Bad habits can be learned - all of those items listed above are learned behaviors. We learn that cookies and other sweet items taste really good, so we allow them to enter our lives regularly. We start smoking by coughing and hacking, wondering how anyone could be silly enough to want to smoke, but often we end up with a pack-and-a-half habit. We take pills to minimize the pain after an injury or surgery, and find it almost impossible to put them away afterward. These are learned habits. 

The key to habits is to choose wisely. Choose the habits 
that enhance your life, not degrade it. Everyone can 
choose their habits, choosing ones that are beneficial 
instead of harmful is an important distinction. 

The thing with human beings is we're always evolving and changing ourselves, in ways both good and bad. We have choices, and we don't always choose wisely. I've been trying to choose wisely, and I'm hoping that my latest choices will turn into addictions that will benefit me, not harm me. 

I've been a student of various personal growth programs 
for much of my life. So I'll forgive DH for rolling his 
eyes when I discussed my latest program with him. But 
he'll support me through it, and that's really all I'm 
asking from him. Personal goals are more achievable 
when I don't have to fight battles at home. 

My basic addiction is personal growth. I've been addicted to attempting positive personal growth programs for a very long time, and many of the items I've tried through the years have been awesome and amazing and wonderful. The problem has always been hanging onto them - allowing them into my life long enough to truly become a habit. Today I start a 13-week (3-month) program of changing my eating habits to encourage healthier habits and increased metabolism. I'm really looking forward to it, although I'm quite sure there will be some serious challenges involved. I'm not sure exactly what will be required, but I'm placing my trust in the guide, and I think, in the long run, this will be exactly what I need and exactly when I need it. 

My WildFit journey begins today and I'm very excited and 
a little fearful. Change, even good change, can be a 
fear filled experience. I have a "buddy" for the program up 
in Ely, Minnesota, and 200+ of us from around the world 
have joined together to improve our lives and our interaction 
with food. This should be awesome. 

So, today I start WildFit - a program offered through MindValley. MindValley is a personal growth company with some truly amazing mentors and classes. WildFit is a partner program - not under the umbrella of MindValley, but rather a partner on the path to self-help and realization. I'll lose some weight through the program, but that's not the focus of it. The focus is choosing foods that will be beneficial for the body, not just empty calories. That interests me a great deal. It's a holistic approach, not just a food regime and it's going to be a wonderful journey. 

I've been taking Vishen Lakhiani's class "Be 
Extraordinary" for a couple of weeks. I have to say 
it is making a huge difference in my life. I'm going to 
stick with these two programs for a while, though. 
There are other programs of interest, but I need to 
internalize "Be Extraordinary" and "WildFit" 
completely before embarking on more aspects of 
personal growth. The longest journey begins with a 
single step. Today I'm stepping out bravely into another 
new area of growth. 

I'm off to have breakfast, tea and head out to work. The first two weeks of WildFit are a lot of self-examination and explanations - setting the groundwork, so to speak, so I'm fairly certain my current food choices are just fine for the time being. But I'm also sure things will change. How exciting! Have a wonderful Monday and please, be kind, stay safe and wear your mask. I'll be back tomorrow! 

Shivers - Anticipation, Cold and Ooky

We're drawing closer and closer to Thanksgiving Day, here in the USA. That's both good and bad - it means I'm falling slightly behind on my holiday cards, although my final piece of equipment should arrive today. But I always have a "mail no later than Solstice" deadline, and for that, I'm still fine. Ideally I'll have them in the mail by December 1st, but ideals and goals aren't always achievable. We'll see. If you're still undecided about whether you want one of this year's card or not, I'll have one final "Call Out for Cards" post before finalizing my list. Naughty? Nice? That's up to you. Getting this year's card? That's also on you. 

If I haven't heard from you and you're a regular for
my cards, I probably will be contacting you directly 
for your decision. Otherwise, I will have a final 
"Call Out for Cards" within the next two weeks. 

Of course, the buzz is all about two things - the election and the vaccine from Pfizer. Apparently the vaccine will be rather like a flu shot times 4 - more of a sore arm, and more of feeling ooky (isn't that a great word?). I'm needle phobic, so any injection has me freaked out. I think the only way I'll be able to force myself to get the vaccination when it's available for the general public will be to promise myself that after I get it, I'll finally be able to get my Winged Scarab tattoo. It's totally carrot hanging in front of the horse for me, but it might work. It won't happen until next year sometime, but I'm already dreading it. Yes ... I'm a wuss. 

Isn't "OOKY" a glorious word? It was coined 
in the music for "The Addams Family" TV 
show in the 1960's (1964 to 1966). I adored 
that show when I was a kid, and still love it. 
There was something about the characters and 
the actors that just resonated with me. 

I managed to get almost all of my new acrylic yarns wound into balls yesterday. I also got them bagged and sealed so that I'll only open the one(s) I'm working with when I need them. I'll have to spend a little time on Wednesday to figure out where to store them. Then I'll get back to work on "The Machine" and see what I can do on the sweater. It's not rocket science, but there are some basics that I really need to get into my subconscious, so that I don't even think about them any more - they're automatic. That's something that always takes some serious work, but once the habit is ingrained, it's there when needed. Rather like writing this daily blog. It's ingrained after all this time. 

I brought my Big Bag 'o Yarn and my yarn winder to the 
shop with me yesterday. I have plastic bags by the roll there, 
so was able to easily get the yarns wound up and bagged. 
Although a hand-knitter can work from a skein or a 
hand-wound ball, knitting machines require wound balls
to control the tension. I'm quite happy with the yarns I ended
up with. They'll make some nice gifts for friends either
this year or next. 

So today I'm going to bundle up. It's COLD today - our first really cold day of the season, and I'm already shivering in my turtleneck, pullover sweater and hoodie. I'm warm on top, but my legs are cold. I wonder if I should add a set of leggings under my long pants? It's a thought. In the meanwhile, though, please stay safe, be kind and please wear your mask. I'll be back tomorrow (for a warmer day, thank goodness). 

Open That Closet and Don't Stumble (Much)

We're back into snow mode and that's OK, except for the fact that our snowblower seems non-functional and we're getting several inches of snow every 12 hours. This ends up requiring a lot of shoveling, so I've got less than 30 minutes to pull this together before leaving to shovel the driveway from our overnight flakes. Such is life, in a way. 

You can be multifaceted. The paints of your life always manage
to work together. I probably wouldn't paint a room with three
diverse colors like this, but I don't mind being a writer, a
shopkeeper and a metalsmith - three very different colors. 

In the nature of life, there always seems to be something waiting to be cleaned up, washed up, painted over or dusted. It's not so much housecleaning as life cleaning. It's not essential to wash the sheets and change the bedding every week, but it you don't actually open that internal linen closet, it's going to get musty and stale and when you finally pull out that clean sheet to put onto your virtual bed, it's not going to be much of an improvement. 

I can't even manage to think about how many hours I spend
practicing the cello. I certainly didn't want to practice every
day - I fought it as much as any kid who would rather be
outside playing with friends. But looking back, I'm really
happy that I stuck with it for as long as I did and that
I accomplished as much with my music as I was able. 

Maybe that's why we practice. Artists draw every day, musicians practice every day, writers write every day - motions frequently performed become habit. I like having a scheduled life with specific tasks to achieve by each day's end and many people share that comfort with me. It's when things pop up to throw off the schedule that challenge the mind. It's how those challenges are met that define the person. 

Stumbling blocks can be many things. Here, the policeman is
being tripped by the escaping criminal. Sometimes if there
are no stumbling blocks, we manufacture some. It's human
nature. 

How flexible are you to those stumbles that life throws at you? I'll be testing out personal scheduling boundaries today when I shovel early and when I have the cable TV tech invade my personal space in early afternoon (the cable box died yesterday morning - DH is aghast and it MUST be fixed or replaced ASAP). Do you open your mental linen closet often enough to keep things fresh? Do you practice your craft or do something you love every day? These are things that will keep you from going musty and old and it's never too late to begin a good habit. 

I think I'll have one day without snow today, but starting tonight we'll have another storm roll through with another 4"-6" of snow in the next 24 hours. It's OK, it's part of life. Roll with those punches and party on. Happy Wednesday - I'll return tomorrow. 

Habits, Routines and Addictions

Habits are hard to break. Just look carefully at your own lives and how easily things fall into a schedule and a set of expectations. It does't take much for things to become habit, and then for those habits to almost become ingrained. The human mind seems to enjoy schedules and regularity, and the unexpected can throw it for a loop. 

Habits can become routines and routines can become
habits. Walk the dog? Usually that's at a set time
of the morning and night. Whose routine/habit is it?
Actually, both you and the dog have trained each other. 

It's the simple things that can throw me off. I'm rediscovering what a creature of habit I am as I switch operations from my old phone to my new one. It's aggravating in some ways, and rewarding in others. 

Not all apps work across platforms. The
"Shake for Flashlight" app I used on my
Motorola phone, doesn't work on my
Google phone. I have a different app
installed, but it's a little more work. *sigh* 

I have discovered that there were a few Motorola features, like "shake for flashlight" that I really miss on the new phone. I have a flashlight app that I downloaded and have a widget for on my home screen, but I have to go through a few more steps before my light is available. Shake for flashlight was a wonderful feature and I miss it. (Leaving the house at 4:30 am every day for the gym means that I leave in the dark, and sometimes return in the dark. Navigation into and out of the house safely often requires a flashlight app.) 

I don't mind Google Photos, I had it on my
old phone too. But I also had "Gallery" on my
old phone and used that more frequently.
Still, I get free cloud storage for years
with the new phone, and I take a lot of
photos, so this might be an excellent
thing. 

The icons are arranged differently, and instead of "Gallery" for my photos, they are in the Google Photos icon. This isn't quite as much of a hardship since I had already had both options on my old phone, but it is a small stumble ... a "where is that icon ... oh yes, I'm using the pinwheel now" moment. 

Habits can become routine when you allow them, but
should you? Think of James Bond - as a secret agent, he
had to work constantly against developing habits. The
habits and their schedules could have ended up killing him
because of his routines. 

But I'll get used to the new icons and operations. I'm not worried about that. These are small bumps in the road and the new habits I'm developing aren't bad habits, just different ones. Unfortunately, habits can actually affect lives in negative ways and that can lead to illness, injury and tragedy. Addictions start out as habits, but quickly sink their claws into daily lives, fighting for supremacy. Addictions are like habits blown up large. Where habits can be difficult to change or break, addictions can be almost insurmountable. 

Habits can move over and become addictions. Notice
in the graphic that some of the items appear
on both sides. 

But addictions CAN and ARE broken. Lives are healed when they are removed, and scars left do heal over. Habits are just that - good or bad. They can be indulged or they can be retrained, and in extreme instances, they can be excised. If you have habits you're trying to change, remember that small steps can lead to large successes. All mountains are climbed one step at a time. 

Enjoy your Tuesday. It's going to be a busy one for me, but I'm happy. My weekend weight gain is gone and I'm back on track with my good habits - LOL. The month is almost over, and March is looming. Winter is slowly coming to a close. 

Amazing Friends and Routine Rediscovered

I have always claimed to be so blessed by the friends I have made in my life. Some of them are only friends for a short time - a year or two - and then they wander away for a variety of reasons. They always leave me richer for having known them and whether we part in friendship or anger, I'm still grateful for their influences while we were friends. Why speak of this today? Because I received the most amazing and unexpected gift from a friend in Germany who I've never met except on-line and I had to share my good fortune.

A network of friends can make life so interesting and fun!

Hans is a jeweler of exceptional talent who I met on a chat board that both of us (and 1000's of other jewelers) belong to. For some reason or other, we clicked. At that time he was living the tropical life in Saint Martin in the Caribbean, designing and selling to tourists and living in a land where things got fixed - eventually - and bribes were a constant. Finally having saved up enough money, he and his lovely wife placed everything on ship and moved - a big move. They ended up in Dusseldorf, Germany where after extensive hunting they found and fixed up a lovely shop and opened for business. The year was a hard one - first years of business usually are, but they are finally starting to see some payback for their bravery and he is making exceptional jewelry again.

I love it! If you're in his area, check out his store -

AHM Creations in Dusseldorf, Germany

He sent me a wonderful convertible pendant/bracelet made from copper with brass and turquoise accents as a very unexpected Solstice gift and I am absolutely thrilled. For years I have lusted after his jewelry. His skills are so much above my own and his vision and design expertise is exceptional. To hold one of his pieces in my hands, I am beyond grateful. What a fantastic way to begin my New Year.

Aren't we all creatures of habit?

And, speaking of New Year, I also must say how happy I am to be back into a routine. I loved having my four days off, but sitting in my chair at my local coffee shop yesterday, eating my oatmeal and then writing more of my S-V story, it came to me that I was so happy. I am back to the treadmill, back to reasonable food, back to writing fiction every day and back to linking with my friends and e-friends throughout the world and I couldn't be happier. Darn - I guess I'm a creature of habit after all!