I Need An Escape - How About A Tiny Treehouse?

Some mornings are harder to get up for than others. Today was such a day, I actually slept until my alarm awakened me at 4:00 am, usually I wake up anywhere from 30-60 minutes before and just get up. I guess the temperature was perfect, and maybe my dreams were good - I have no idea on that. But, at least I got a solid 6+ hours of sleep, so that was good. 

I'm populating today's blog with a Kickstarter 
campaign I want to support and think that you 
might also enjoy. Tiny-Treehouses.com is their 
website and they have wonderful, detailed 
mini treehouses to hang or to add to your 
houseplants. Take a look at the few I've 
put in today's blog, and visit their website 
to see the range. There are some wonderful 
structures. 

I pushed through and got my full 2 miles on the treadmill - once again NOT my favorite exercise. I'd much rather be in the pool, but I don't think that's going to happen until next year. I just don't see myself being brave and going into the midst of other people fearlessly for a while yet. So, I trudged my way through my fast walk. Thank goodness for audio books - I'd die of boredom on the treadmill without my favorite books to listen to. 

There are some wonderful structures that they have 
in production - I just chose a few to share with 
all of you. Little structures like this can help the 
imagination run wild, offering up alternatives 
and giving safe spaces when needed. And these 
are clever. Beautifully designed. 

Settling down at my computer, I handled my email, checked my mail orders, and generally did what I had to do before settling down to write my blog ... and realized that I really had nothing to say today that wasn't negative or horribly boring or ick. Since I refuse to post ick (we have enough of that in our daily lives these days), today's blog will be short. But that's OK. Not every day has to be a winner. 

In their photos, they also have a few shots when the 
roofs are removed, showing the detailed interiors, 
not just the wonderful exteriors. I'm in love with 
these small structures. Take a look and let your 
own imaginations run wild for a little bit. 

I guess I'm just a bit depressed about the world I'm finding myself living in. I'm watching my nation and the world around me heading towards disaster. I'm seeing human rights so hard-fought for in the past within a knife's edge of being thrown into the trash, and I'm looking at a lot of angry and isolated people striking out an anyone because they feel powerless. All I can do is try to effect positive thoughts and actions within the small circle of people I interact with. And that's all you can do too. So please, today, try to brighten someone's day. We all need it. Have an excellent Tuesday and I'll be back tomorrow. 

The Roller Coaster of our Lives (Project Runway Tomorrow)

No Project Runway photos yet, so I'll post the results tomorrow. 

DH is horribly depressed - the financial markets are tanking in the wake of COVID-19 - he can't pull himself away from the financial markets on television, although they are awash in a sea of red. I guess I'm the opposite of him - I haven't checked my accounts at all. The last time I checked, about a week ago or so, I had lost a chunk of value in my accessible account, the one I started with my inheritance money after Mom died, and I haven't checked my IRA retirement account yet. Still, even though we're bleeding money, there's really not a lot we can do at this point except strap in for the ride. 

We're on a roller coaster ride right now. We're strapped in and
have no real control over where we are going, just know were're
eventually going to end up back at the beginning with shaky legs
and the experience of a lifetime. Hang on for the ride! 

Of course, I have to think back to my parents and grandparent's generations and the world financial collapse of the late 1920's into the Great Depression of the 1930's. Those were hard times - people papering their walls with money that had suddenly become worthless. A wheelbarrow of money would buy a loaf of bread. We're not at that point now, and we're in much better shape than many - we own our house, we have money in the bank, and we really don't need to pay for much. We're lucky. Still, it's a worry at the back of the mind. 

These are scary times. Combine COVID-19 with the collapse of the
financial markets and the recipe for disaster has been put together.
The misinformation being distributed, and the lack of the Federal
government to get their act together might spell the end of Trump.
I guess we'll see come November, but right now it's a cluster-___k. 

So as we all hunker down and try to avoid public contact, I'm grateful for electronic contact. If we had to self-isolate completely, I suspect I'd go crazy. I'm still going to the gym (at least until they decide that attendance is too dangerous), and swimming is excellent - the chlorine in the water is there to kill germs. Voila! I'm swimming today and tomorrow - LOL (of course, Friday and Saturday in the water is my normal schedule). 

Disney has closed the Orlando, Florida and the Anaheim, California
parks in the USA, as well as their Paris park. I think they were also
considering closing their Shanghai park and their Cruise line. The
closures are short-term - initially for the long weekend, but I think they'll
be closed for longer than three days. 

So stay safe. When Disney closes its parks, you know there's something serious going on, so just be careful, sanitize regularly, and don't panic. It won't be easy, but we'll all get through this, with a little help from our cyber-friends. Have a wonderful Friday and with luck my Project Runway review will be able to post tomorrow. 

Exhaustion and Darkness Can Lead To Paths I Don't Want to Walk

I'm really tired. I suppose that's not illogical - I usually operate on between 5 and 6 hours of sleep a night, but I'm just "bleh" right now. So, instead of hitting the running track (and since my knee is still bothering me), I'm going to swim today. I can't say I'll be any more awake, but I won't run into a wall. 

I'm just "bleh" today. It's dark, I'm cold, and I'm
exhausted. I should allow myself more sleep, but
I can't. I have to get my time in at the gym. Some
days it's hard to get up. 

I was so tired last night that I only got a single bead attached to my Owl Project before I told myself I wasn't seeing clearly enough to actually get some work accomplished. Like I said - "bleh". At least I got some work done at the shop yesterday. It wasn't a total waste of 24 hours. Sometimes days can seem as if they are - a waste. 

I would probably be better off getting more sleep, but it's the fact
that I am at the gym 5 out of every seven days that makes the
end result worthwhile. Not all days are easy ones. Today is a
bit harder. 

Maybe it's the darkness that gets to me around this time of the year. I wake up in the dark, I go to sleep in the dark, and the only light I get to participate in is through glass panes keeping the warm in and the cold out. I know that the dark would be much worse if I lived any farther North, so I guess I'm grateful I'm not living in Canada or in Alaska, but I miss my light. I am a creature of light, color, and the interplay of the wind causing the shift of both. I don't reside easily in the half-tones of the dark. 

I need the moon and stars, but at this time of the year, seeing
them clearly also means bitterly cold temperatures - no real
ability to stand out in the yard and look at the night lights. 

Is the darkness a mystery, hidden challenges and opportunities lurking around the next corner? Is it comforting - a chance to lay down your burdens for a time and relax in the embrace of sleep? Although I love the moon and the stars, in these dark days of February when the clouds most often occlude that view of hope, I turn inwards and become introspective and self-questioning. This is the time of year when I can spiral downward and lose myself in the darkness. 

Roy T Bennett may have been onto something here. It's a lot harder
to put that distance in when depression hits than when people are
upbeat and happy. Long periods of darkness and cold can bring
depression to the doorsteps of many people. I'm not immune to
depression, but I recognize the signs and I actively work myself out
of it as quickly as I can. 

So I cling to hope, live in light, and try to soak up those times when the sun and I are able to interact a bit. Even a small amount of bright blue sky and brilliant light, although the surroundings might be decorated by banks of snow, can life my spirits. Today I'll carry on in the darkness, but tomorrow I'll once again see and walk in the light. Have a glorious Tuesday and I'll be back tomorrow. 

What Have We Done?

Well - waking up this morning and reading the election news was like dashing into a shower of ice water. Extremely unpleasant. The nation will survive, but the financial markets will probably tank. The thing that I fear the most is now an open wound - the filling of open slots on the Supreme Court and the abrogation of personal rights that I've fought so hard to achieve such as gay marriage and abortion rights. Those adjudicated personal freedoms, the right to love and marry the right person indeterminate of their sex, and to have the freedom to end a pregnancy if wanted/needed - those are causes that are foundations of my personal beliefs. The fear that they would be taken away through new people slotted into the Supreme Court, well, that's why I voted for Hillary. I suddenly wish that I lived in a different country. Canada, maybe.

Apparently Hillary Clinton conceded in an early morning
phone call to Donald Trump. This may very well be the
beginning of the end of our democracy. 

My nation is deeply divided - this was a hard fought and very close battle that brought out record numbers of voters. Most of the pundits and predictions were wrong. They thought the rhetoric and basic personal undesirability of Trump would cause people to vote Democratic. But this nation wants change. We're living in an industrial machine that is rusted, we're a people where the middle class is a disappearing group, and we're a nation where the dividing lines between those who have and those who have not are becoming impassible wastelands instead of sidewalks to be crossed.

Are you looking for an inciteful article about why Donald
Trump would win this election? Michael Moore wrote
a very readable article that was right on the money.
  Follow the link and read for yourself. 

So, I fear we just elected Darth Vadar. Along with a Republican congress, he might be able to affect some real changes that will take decades to rescind and revise. I've been fairly insular in the past and now am looking for my shell to pull over myself once more. Retirement, something that I was really looking forward to in a few years, may have just become a pipe dream for me. I really need my pool today - need to work off some of this shock and depression. I'm suddenly glad that I'm as old as I am, I won't have to live in the aftereffects of a Trump presidency for as long as many of my much younger friends.

Treading Water in a Shrinking Pond

And yet another one bites the dust and I begin wondering. The politicians and financial pundits all tell us that the US is in great shape, that our economy is strong and getting better every day, that unemployment is down and earning dollars are up, and that (basically) everything is coming up roses. But then I look around me at small businesses and I wonder what in hell they have all been smoking!

The Bead Monkey in Minneapolis is the latest store to shut their
doors. I don't have a time-frame (yet), but just got notified
that they're closing in my emails this morning. 

Commerce has changed, and not for the better. Small businesses are closing left and right and while internet commerce is strengthening, the small stores along the main streets and in the smaller shopping areas are closing. It's March and so far this year in my state and industry alone, two more stores have closed. The pool is shrinking under the hot sun of e-commerce and it's making cookie-cutter consumers out of all of us.

The pool of small stores is shrinking almost as dramatically as
the water levels of Lake Mead, Nevada. 

Instead of being able to actually touch an item. Instead of talking with knowledgeable salespeople about what a product will (or won't) do for you, you're looking at a screen and ordering blind. The only other alternative available is the "big box" store - in my industry, the Michaels and the Jo-Ann Arts and Crafts. They carry less than 1/10th of my product and they know absolutely nothing about it because their sales people have too many products and no in-depth knowledge about any of them.

Small town America is shrinking and their stable businesses are
closing and leaving. Commerce is the backbone of this nation and
commerce isn't working for local economy any more. 

Sure, people can go on-line and order beads - they're out there, they're quite accessible. Hell, I have a website too (not up-to-date, but still used and still quite functional). My customers keep telling me that they want to see the beads in person. That colors are so important and that they need to find out from us which beads will actually work in their projects. We're happy to help. It's why we're there.

It doesn't have to be that way, though. Small businesses can survive
as long as their customers shop them instead of the internet. Money
spent in your community benefits your community. Support your
local small businesses whenever possible and help yourself. 

That said, if I was given the chance to sell the store and retire tomorrow, I'd do in it a flash. I too would join the small business exodus because when you're in a group, you don't feel as alone. I keep that beacon light of "retirement" shining ahead of me and I keep working because I'm not there yet. But it's getting harder and harder to tread water in a shrinking pond.

Have a good Friday, all. Sorry to end the week on a downer, but I'll try to make up for it with tomorrow's post. *hugs* to all.

Keeping Positive

I'm working hard on staying positive even though at this time of the year I'm operating on a tank that is rapidly approaching empty. I am 75% finished with my LOTR Community Gen Yule Fic, so I'm comfortable where I am with that. Maybe I'll continue working on that this morning instead of working on my novel, just for a change of pace. I have started looking at what I want for the design of my solstice cards (ARE YOU ON MY LIST? I'D LOVE TO SEND YOU ONE BUT YOU HAVE TO MESSAGE ME WITH YOUR ADDRESS) and I'm into the next edit with my "Dragon" story (thank goodness for editors and the opportunity to look over a piece from a distance of time). I'm still walking at least four days a week on the treadmill (should really increase that to at least five days a week) and I'm losing weight which makes me happy. So...why aren't I turning joyful somersaults for my life? Good question.

The holidays are a tough time of the year for everyone, and one of those times which is famous for extreme depression. I'm trying to stay out of those ruts; I've walked them too many times in the past. But I also know that it's very easy to fall back into them. So, I'm focusing on my schedule and I'm focusing on smaller goals that can be achieved. Because when I do that, when I allow myself to have small accomplishments, I can keep the depression at bay and enjoy the smaller beauties of life.

The sunrises...

The flight of birds...

The love of others...(these two guys are just too

beautiful not to share)

These are my bulwarks against the insanity of the season. I hope they are of help to you as well.

Assailed by Doubts

It's crazy...or I'm crazy...or maybe a combination of the both. Questions are plaguing me this morning.

Whatever made me think that I actually had a plot lying in this vision?
How and more importantly WHY do these two get together?
Come on already, girl. Whatever made you think you had a novel in you let alone a novel in this storyline?
What was I thinking when I signed up for NaNoWriMo?

As you can tell, second week doubts and walls are hitting me early *sigh*. I always was precocious.

This is my smaller state map that has my timeline

marked with post-it arrows and notes. It sits

on the desktop next to me within easy reach.

But I will work my way though this, and it may be that on December 1st I will put this novel into a virtual drawer and never look at it again. I am planning to put it into that drawer for at least a month anyway, but at this point I am thinking that I will open the drawer in January and begin revision work.

My smaller map, taped up onto a closet door

in my den, has one of the routes marked on

it. I'll mark the other route within a day

or so.

So I'm pushing my doubts away again and telling myself that I will find out in January, when I start rewriting and fleshing things out, whether or not I actually have a story here.

The novel actually comprises two separate stories one hundred years apart. The part that is in the past is coming together really well. The part that exists in the present...well, it's stumbling a bit more. But, as a friend said to me, "Just write through these roadblocks." So that's what I'll do. And hopefully when I open that drawer again in January what stares back at me will be the kernel of something surprisingly good. At least that's my dream.

My larger topo map is now on the wall behind

my treadmill. I have already promised my poor

DH that the maps will be coming down during

the first week of December. I expect all of

them will have a lot of markers and notes on them

before they are pulled and folded.

Of course, just because I'm signing up for NaNo doesn't change other writing tasks. I signed up for the Yule Fic Exchange, but only because it doesn't have to be large and ponderous. The only question is whether my muse will allow me to be to the point or if it will force me to push out within the deadline. But I'm passing on the November LOTR Community Challenge because I'll be involved in the mountains. With my maps. And my computer. And my particular and peculiar take on insanity. Only 6:16:16:40 days left until NaNo begins.....Eeeeeeeeeeek!!!!

Paddling Madly Against the Stream

I'm swimming madly against the stream here. I am keeping up with my B2ME writing and having fun with the stories, but I haven't posted them to any of my archives yet because time just hasn't been there. My monthly challenge fic is undergoing final editing and I'll toss that to them early next week, maybe even tomorrow if I'm really lucky. And I'm keeping up at work (barely) with getting the new items processed.

But, I desperately need some sleep. I have that nasty cold that I was fighting a month or so ago perched next to me again, ready to pounce. It rather reminds me of vultures swimming in the air above me. I am exhausted and worn down right now for a variety of reasons, and of course this weekend starts Daylight Saving Time again, so I'll get an hour less sleep tomorrow.

People-wise, though, things are looking good. DH faxed off the letter re jury duty yesterday, so that's off our backs for the time being, and he's happy he has an appt with his ENT Doctor in a bit more than a week because he really needed one. And things seem to be working out to join my cousin for a few days in Lincoln NE in early May. I'm really looking forward to seeing her again - it's been WAY too long. So, as I said, I'm paddling to keep where I am in the stream. Hopefully things will fall into place during the next week.

Jump Start Yourself

Do you ever get to the point where you are so tired that nothing seems to penetrate? I have the last holiday cards to decorate. I have a Yule Fic to review because I'm not happy with where my muse took me at the end of it, and I have another story to complete and submit by the end of the month. I have another Santa fic or graphic to make. I have stories to beta, drabbles to write, packages to wrap, and I was even thinking about putting up our tree. But I'm so tired and worn out from holiday ick that I have no energy left.

This is an easy season to let depression take over. Those of us who fight with that demon are familiar with the holiday season and approach it with a bit of trepidation. We know that the sugarplums, carols, tinsel and bows only hide and decorate an emptiness that exists in us and hides well. It's not that I'm a grinch or that other people who are depressed at this season are, it's that we are fighting the sugar plums of artificial happiness wrapped in a big bow. It's a balancing act and right now, because I am tired and a little bit spread thin, I'm feeling gritty and a bit rocky. I know I'll get my balance back, but there is a reason why the holiday season is the season of the highest number of suicides. This "season of love" can also be a "season of emptiness".

So, I want each of you reading this today to reach out to someone and tell them that they make a difference in your life. Don't just give them a physical gift, those are too easy to lose, break, or regift. Tell them, to their face if possible, that you are the person that you are today because of something that they did. Let them know that their footprint on this earth matters. Hopefully they will pay it forward and some of the pain of the Holiday Season will be minimized by just one small action on your part. Have a good weekend!