Bones and Plans

Well, I hurt so much yesterday that I went to the clinic for advice, drugs and X-Rays. I do feel better after this. After five X-Rays it didn't appear as if I had broken anything, although there are a couple of areas where the Radiologist will take a closer look on Monday. I got a prescription for Tylenol3 and after it finally kicked in last night, I actually had a good night's sleep. But things are still hurting, so if I didn't break anything then I still did a serious number on my ligaments and soft tissue. This is throwing a monkeywrench into my time schedule for my BFAC because holding the pliers hurts - a LOT. So I resign myself to adding an extra week onto my time frame so that I can recover a bit more and photograph the finished item.

And today we were supposed to go to Twig for the Ren Fest - or at least go up after work, stay in a hotel in the north, and be at Twig in the early morning on Sunday. I rather doubt that this will come off, and if I felt better I would be really disappointed in that. But since I hurt, I find I really don't care as much as I normally would. It's unbelievable to me how a negative physical problem can affect creativity in a negative fashion. So, I'll give myself the day or so for a small pity party, and then I'll get myself back on track. The problem is that I can't draw or do many of the small things that I try to do throughout the day because it was my right arm that got injured. But physical injury can't stop mental imagery so I'll just work out some bugs in my latest project mentally while working today. Creativity rules!

Pain, Tears and Frustration

I hurt. Right now that's the focus of my little personal universe - I hurt. Pain is not only a sensation, it is a color - for me today that color is yellow-orange inside radiating to orange and then to red with purple striations. All of it pulsing (not even to a good, danceable rhythmn), and all of it just telling me how much I hurt. As I had mentioned, I fell while in Milwaukee this past week and injured my arm. Although the range of motion has improved, the pain has increased and I think I'll have to break down and visit the clinic after all . So, that's the physical pain that I'm in right now.

And then there is the psychological pain. I returned home on Monday from a trip where I was gone for more than a week. I have yet to receive a "welcome home" hug and/or kiss from my husband. He always says that it takes him a while to reconcile himself to my leaving him and an equal amount to be happy that I'm back....but you could fool me! I'm starting to feel very unappreciated and unloved. Not a good feeling, although I could probably produce some very bad art from this. After all, isn't misery the wellspring from which much literature is created? Well, color me frustrated, angry, in pain, etc. This makes it difficult to be creative, but the difficulty is in the physical pain aspect more than the others, since the others are becoming as familiar as a well worn pair of shoes.

Running in Place

Ever get the feeling that you are a hamster, running in a wheel but getting nowhere? In a way, I feel rather like that today. I need a jump start to my creativity, but am bogged down in minutae like laundry, housecleaning, deadlines, and of course a grumpy partner . I know I'll work myself out of this, but it is rather sticky quicksand and it is not an easy escape. Part of my problem is simple pain. I injured myself rather seriously over the weekend and, although I am getting better every day, I hurt. My range of motion has been seriously impacted, and every move I make hurts. I had a chance to go to a small Renaissance Fest over the weekend, and I turned it down because I just don't feel up to it. It's unusual for me to turn down an event like this, so that lets me know that I'm not doing very well. I'll just hope that I continue to get better.

But today when I get to the shop I'll get back to work on the final element of my Beading For A Cure piece. It won't take very long to finalize this and I'll be very happy to have one less thing on my plate. I also need to work on scrollwork for my embroidery. If I'm not too busy at the shop today, maybe I'll start working on some ideas. So, creativity isn't dead, it's just getting buried in a sea of pain. But the rescuers are on the way and the liferaft seems to be holding up.

Past, Present and Future

Let's start with Present. On today's crazy schedule is a Chiropractor appt at 6:40am, a dental checkup appt at 7:30am, mailing four mail orders and some paid bills at 8:30am, and then a trip to Minneapolis to my goldsmith for a ring repair at 9:00am. Geez....I'm tired already :-) Oh...and today is trash and recycling day, so I have to make sure those items are on the curb before I leave the house at 6:00am.

(The location for the 2009 Metal Clay World conference - beautiful, isn't it?)

Future - today is a studio day. That means that I will work on, and hopefully finish, my Beading For A Cure project for the 2010 auctions. I also did have an opportunity to practice my ribbon embroidery while I was in Milwaukee. It's really going to make the cloak pop, so I hope that I can start work on the actual curves that I want, and maybe settle (in my own head) whether or not I want to try and work out a convertible neckline, or just make life easier and sew the hood into the cloak for a permanent join. Convertible would be very cool, but it may be more trouble than it is worth and may be better off coming for the next cloak instead. Then I can mark the hem, get it hemmed up and start the embroidery. I truly love the fabric - it'll be a magnificant cloak when it is finished. I also need to start work on my charms for the Metal Clay World conference that I will be attending in July. Ideally I want them to be cold-joined and multi-metal, so I'm working on two possible designs. I will finish BFAC today so that I can devote next week and the following two to this project. I haven't decided if I will enamel them yet, but they will be textured.

And past...well, that's my friend Seth. Seth and I were once very close - if things had fallen into place differently, we'd be spending our lives together instead of with other partners. He was always someone I could talk to and that hasn't changed. Although our schedules are both nuts, and he lives many states away from me, we actually merged schedules for one night of dinner and drinks and catching up on the past 30 years of our lives. He is still beautiful. There is a light in his soul that still speaks to me, even after all of these years. I have rarely had such an enjoyable night just sitting and talking, and I send thanks to whatever Powers managed to arrange for this meeting. I hope there will be more opportunities to get together in our futures.

Home Again...

("DaGrape" is tricked out in chrome which this pic doesn't have, but the color is right, so I thought it might be a good pic to put here.)

Well, the Bead & Button Show for 2009 is now over, "DaGrape" was re-loaded, CDs were placed in ready (this trip was Prince's newest two albums, a compilation of Earth, Wind & Fire's greatest hits, and the Blues Brothers II soundtrack), stim tabs were taken (absolutely necessary given my usual lack of sleep) and pain pills were popped (more about that in a little bit). We made it to the Twin Cities in almost record time, and I dropped Poo off at the airport. It is Poo's last B&B show, so I'll be looking for a new roomie for next year after 15 years of rooming with Poo. It's a disappointment, but also an opportunity to make a new friend or two. Feel free to let me know if you might be interested in rooming with me next year. I usually stay at the Hyatt (NOT cheap), I probably snore - although I don't smoke, and I want a roomie for the full 7-8 day duration, not just a portion thereof. Said roomie could fly into the Twin Cities and drive out and back with me, or just fly directly into Milwaukee, or drive out themselves. All items are subject to negotiation.

(I wasn't this graceful, and this isn't me, but it's a great photo.)

Back to joys and pain. On Saturday morning, after a delightful breakfast at George Webb's with my friend Carol and her sister Bobbie, I was crossing the street when my right foot just stopped. I really don't have any good explanation - there was nothing on the road that I tripped on, there was nothing slick, there was nothing sticky, but my foot just stopped dead. As a result, I fell - hard - twisting my right arm and catching my weight on the back of my right hand, torquing my lower arm and elbow. Serious pain, a small amount of blood, a great deal of embarrassment, and I was a hurting unit. There was a lot still to do over the weekend - our annual dinner with friends at Benehana's, possible drinks afterwards in the Hyatt lobby bar, and a meeting with a dear friend for Sunday. Dinner went well, drinks didn't really happen (although my dear bartender friends set me up with an awesome ice pack for the night that saved my derriere), and Sunday was wonderful. I think I'll save Sunday for tomorrow's post, as well as a more detailed report of what I actually learned while in Milwaukee. But today, Tuesday, I have less pain and more mobility, so even though my arm is still swollen, I don't think I actually broke anything - just strained my ligaments and ligatures. Quite bad enough :-)